(no subject)

oh. right. new account again. quite pathetic. anyway. we were separated at birth. that sister thing sure gets confusing. and you know all this so i dont see how it matters. but it gets lonely. so. and its so hard to do the right thing. and being normal is boring. and i cant go to fountain house. ive tried the radio, but they just make excuses for why my songs cant be on the show.

(uhm. and i fucked up a lot. and they treat me well in saying it. so. theyre not like my dad. hey. joy)

and reading your 3000 bloglings, by looking up the slang definition of every word? that would take awhile. anyway. thats over. was nice reading you. i didnt get anything at all. but, hey.

and my stupid slang means other things. but i dont understand that world. but by how much i spam youd think i take everything under the sun. and the X looks like a swastika? lovely.

anyway. wont add emotions to this. so i sound like a hipster or beavis and butthead or what have you. with a british accent. and bellas favourite is a chav? oh. that explains things. im so awesome. i wondered why it just disappeared.

like i said, slang definitions dont entertain me anymore. but i learnt it that way. you say one single word, and they crush your entire world. so you try to do the opposite. like a feedback loop. no one fell for it. except me.

oh and stockholm might be tough but out in the countryside its worse. so miss mom has gone through worse things.

anyway. lonely. not that its bad. miss mom actually visited. because i removed her index from the start page. and wanted her to never come back. obviously that didnt work. and it was for the better. of course.

well. i got what i wanted. everything as before. ireland lithuania and italy? wow. complicated. and your brothers look like people in my hierloom. weird. i guess theyre not the nicest either. not that ive seen them in a long time.

one of them is a scientist. i asked him what he thought about something. and he just mentioned some theories. släkten är värst. anyway. would be neat to meet them again. but its not what you want. you should follow rules. just how it works.

and i didnt do that and look where i ended up. so you are for real. uhm. i sort of shift. in relation to people now too. its weird but its life. so its good. but people want me to be cute and entertaining. and i might be really angry when im angry. so. hey.

so my karma is 817 000. and thats just in relation to 1 whatever. its more vs others. fun. or. i dunno.

anyway. shouldnt stay in this feedback loop too long. i guess ill reminisce more of what you said. so. hey.

(no subject)

oh. and. i made a new song again. i was gonna stop but theres really not much to do. getting that tatu tomorrow. i dunno how. but. hey. and obviously it was challenged by new insights. gotta love that.

and that old joke, about "if you get a tatu of a porsche and you get old and" whatever it said. i guess they were true. the most fucked up quotes are the most difficult to understand. they get shielded by hate. or. i dunno. so the heart is hate too? no. the amygdala. ok? uh. love and fear. complicated. and im a monstercat and thats great and so was bella and its. however it is. i guess not being excstatic anymore was advantageous. and i cant reverse time. so. hey.

and i made the song in like 5 mins. and it was predetermined and i talked to. not supposed to say ^_^ OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! well. that was easy. etc. and i understand my words mean other things. and maybe im completely controlled. why do demons live in heaven and angels live in hell? everyone is a dead man walking.

and i get deja vu and that means im on the right track but if ive worked on a text for hours then realize its exactly like the original it feels futile. but, hey. and you could restart from scratch and wait and just change the ending.

anyway. you have rules and i broke them and thats that. and im intolerable now more than ever. so who could ever bother. hey would be nice to know what was in those choleric drops but how does it matter. it was loads of weird names. i have no idea how they affected me. maybe thats why im all over the place. so it will all get better in time? or more true? and yeah not everything is my fault its just demons game.

and computer games are horrid. i guess theyre good if you use them as a visual chatroom but thats about it.

and im not supposed to listen to my music just make and forget. but thats boring. and i get tired of it next day or whatever.

and my music might not be as dark anymore. anyway i dont have to post links you know all see all so it doesnt matter.

ok. im called va now. i guess it gets lost in the crowd. but its always been that. i dont remember my 2 geek friends ever protecting me or saying its gonna be alright. but guys arent supposed to be like that. hey.

and i remember things and thats lovely. yep. and i sound like the boss in office space? omg. i get it. dont show youre weak. gomgomgo thats so WEIRD. and everything is lovely aaaaaaaaaaaaaand uhmmmmmmm ^_^ and i dont like slanted smileys or i would use them and i dunno any other smileys like that one so it will have to do. and im not perfect and. it doesnt matter.

uhm and i made a hypnagogic citypopdrift track? didnt mean to. but it was predetermined. la di da. and i made photoshops for each pic. except i made them before. so did i make the songs before as well? thats really really lovely. sob sob.

so what is the new concept gonna be called? we had the dark ages eventhough i know nothing of them or not. and la belle epoque. and now what? well. would be easy to use something stupid which i think will impress whoever.

and fanboys are dumb and knowing someone too much isnt fun and its just how it is.

oh and gender correction makes sense now.

oh and my music isnt too bright nevermind.

and i use text to speech now. and it sounds pretty good. and if you havent heard it a lot youll probably turn it off since its fake and not modern. or not.

and i understand things now. but youre patient. so thats sweet. and you dont see the world like me. hey. sweet is from that pj harvey song. or is it? is that a psyop too? lesse. and im from yugoslavia i guess. or croatia. and maybe youre too or how does it matter. oh its portishead. and i dont know what that band name means in slang and it seems futile. cats just wanna have fun. and be clever. and run really really fast. sometimes. and i cant say im a bird but i guess i am. and i change really fast and more now and thats lovely. and my vocabulary isnt huge so hey. and i said i am sofia a couple of times and then i talked like someone from the 1800s and i dunno who. ok. lesse. oh theres a Axelina Sofia Johansson in my relatives? ok. neat. lovely. etc. woooooooooo ^_^ lesse =) no weird like donald duck and lesse :) no creepy omg. cats are neat and if theyre the same as dragons i like dragons!!!!!!!!!!

(no subject)

oh and sara has amazing discipline and is really appretiative of gifts and shes lovely and shes 1 sister and theres more and its sooooooo complicated but i guess we have some time and i just turn the same around women again its harder to change instincts than writing to a blank page but youre not that a maze ing if that means something bad well sorry i never got anything before i mean i did but nobody cared and i just made a big mess and

(no subject)

and i made this book with pics from 1997 to 2018? and i said i dedicated it to miss electro and she said cool and that was it but maybe she appretiated it a lot or not hey and gods are human too theres no difference maybe

(no subject)

so asked miss mom about jessica she denied having said "she took care of you". well. how does it matter. i dont get anything at all. and im not chaos magick because its aimed at something you want to destroy. and i cant damage what i dislike because the entities make it opposite. and hoping is dangerous etc. someone hates you honey. still wondering about the contents of those choleric drops. so youre on their side after all. but thats what its about right. jag fattig bara skämtar!

(no subject)

uhm. to say it once again. whats the point of being happy? when i was with bella i played computer games. and. i did my normal jabberwockey. so whats the point? and ive never recieved such a direct murder threat as then. so like. whats the point?

(no subject)

so. saras on astral projection input reality. last i met her. which was awhile ago. dunno if shes risen to bellas levels by now. you never know. shes lived so many realities. she can even do puzzles. anyway. how does it matter. ill get mocked no matter how.