(no subject)

hi rhiannon kirin. sometimes i notice what has happened before. not all know. knifesouth is from the 1500-1800s. well. how does it matter. everyone knows this. except me. hon som sa tända på om och om igen. word is a virus. lithium is grey and green. the first creatures were dragons. everyone knows this though. i didnt. and dont. jag kan inte välja. it doesnt matter. some popular suicide methods:

* pendeltåg - du blir ett spöke som kämpar mot graffiti
*

i got a vampire entity when i was 2 years old. du kom in i mina brallor och du växte i sängen. do what thou wilt.

skulle. spelar ingen roll.

* bacon factor: 6.
* facebook factor: 3.

du dör när du gjort allt du ska. problemet är att du blir bara 1 med allt när alla som du påverkat har dött.

the last question skrevs 1956. internet fanns då. innan darpanet fanns det i schweitz. deras flagga är som greklands. förutom att den är omvänd. 7k baud sms etc.

det här är bara 1 historia. så jag påverkar eran värld genom att prata om min. som är baserad på mamma (östersund / sundsvall) och pappa (fruängen / dalarna). sen går det tillbaks och tillbaks. det är komplicerat. och jag fattar ingenting.

jag fick inte ens diagnosen aspie. för jag är för högfunktionerande för ens det.

jag har inga vänner och då är man autist. men jag har inga känslor och ingen fantasi.

jag skrev en historia i 10 timmar. fick en ögonblicksbild. det är allt.

jag rökte 3½ premium tyska cigarriller utan filter. fick några korta visioner. men den världen är inte för mig. de blandar in weed i det. som khazarerna tycker om. you never know what youre gonna get.

hur ni får det vet jag inte.

myra var på robotfrekvens
sara är på alien frekvens, som julia AB
bella är på fjärilsfrekvens
therese. ja. vet inte. all talk and.
eleopas tredje barn är född sista oktober första november 00:00.

lithium och bly och kvicksilver ger multitasking eller andra superkrafter och supersvagheter. det är därför mac är bättre. som eleopa använder. a night with venus a life with mercury.

den värsta lögnen är uppochnervänt hat. nietzsche var aristokrat. jag tänkte jag skulle samla allt. men de som vet vet.

vajför ska man bara vara 1
vajför ska man bara vara flera
vajför ska man vara 2

1=>2(1,3)

man ska inte vara 1
man ska inte vara flera
man ska vara 2

russian lullaby
belarus
orientalisk wellness

ja ni blir väl som en blandning mellan tomas och bella. men jag vet inte specifics i det. karin blockerade eleopas crossing. så inga mongon. grattis.

man vill inte att ens pappa ska dö. han spökar för mor. bella och sara håller med om det.

man vill inte att ens mamma ska dö. all min kreativitet försvinner då. samma sak händer om jag är ifrån henne en säsong. allting efter 3 månader. karma. men skulden är kvar. men som sagt jag vet inte specifics i det.

eva var visst inte tydlig. lol. få se vad det betyder på kreol.

http://www.slangopedia.se/ordlista/?ord=tydlig

ja. fanns många förklaringar. jag kommer aldrig fatta allt det där.

curt är visst på trollfrekvens nu. lol. fattar ingenting. jämtland är trollriket. congratulations. better late than never.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYM-RJwSGQ8

1 miljard views. herregud.

först trodde jag det var en diss till mig. sen kändes den bara creepy i tråkighet. vilket är vad sara är. men tracey är min tvillingsyster. kul. därför hon orkade med mig. hon va tracey lords innan. ajsans.

anyway. sen verkar det som om det handlar om mig. sen handlar det om sara. och vi är likadana! roligt.

hon tittar på sin 1 film per dag och skrattar när hon ska. det är alla hennes känslor. jag var exstatiskt glad sen 2004. men det var fejk.

hon provade "probably the best beer in the world". jag blev inte kåt. sen försökte hon med "som den där reklamen". funkade inte. det däckar alla.

jag fixade första tatun för alla kallade min vegeterian. det betyder många saker. igen, jag fattar inte sånt. men sara har planerat allt in i minsta detalj. snart kommer jag till yttergärnas steiner helvete. det här boendet kommer bara vara uppe i 10 år. sen rivs det.

det första jag tänkte när jag såg det liknande i tuna var "koncentrationsläger". nyligen kom jag på att det är som nån som röker flera dussin cig per dag fast hon har aids. som eleopa. fräscht.

i balterna är människor gröna pga så mycket cigarettrökande.

tyskland förlorade för de fick nietzsche bästa bok. de alierade hade cigaretter. ju mer gifter ju mer resistant blir du mot oljud. odödlig.

ryssarna hade vokda. det är inte foodshortage nu det är booze shortage.

om man gör det blir ens hud kritvit. genomskinlig. som en fjäril. så bella har gått igenom det. fräscht. hon har 300 relationer samtidigt senast jag kollade.

fauci är en god människa. om knarkandet och knullandet fortsatt på 80-talet skulle det inte funnits någon kvar. kanske 500 miljoner som de önskade.

människor säljer ut sig för de har skulder. det finns vanliga skulder och karma skulder. min är på 817 000.

men sen bella störde mig har människor gjort musik om mig. en del. deep house är rape house. roligt. värre än trap house. drill är extratone idm hihats. jag samlade en förortshäxas definitioner i ett svar. hon attackerade med "wordsalad mansplaining internetkvinnohatare". men det räckte inte. hon krossade dree low för att dödsdomen inte skulle fastställas. det påminner om gamla citatet:

"det finns en sak som är satt i sten och det är dom över död mans grav"

det är därför borgerlig begravning är bättre.

kristen gör en till slav i apokalypsen. några har knarkat så mycket att de kommit dit. såg nån milla jovovich film. tyckte om slutet. snygg låt. spelade om det några gånger. vhs. those were the days.

cd kvalitet är inspelningar på vhs band. 1 megabyte per minut. om man lägger till bild på datband blir det 20 megabyte per sekund. så 8k är ingenting.

det är kallt. klockan är visst 4 efter midnatt.

tracey gjorde en dröm om mig. "i came from the gutter". k. good for you. traitor.

julia julia gjorde en också. nån science fiction värld. framtiden. typ.

kommer inte ihåg mycket. eleopa kallade det tanke stöld. oh my har jag det. sen 2. och kommer inte ihåg mycket innan. morsan stängde av och på mig när hon ville.

fråga karlsson vad han var för stjärntecken.

han svarade "det finns inte mycket av det gamla folket kvar".

ja. 1908. det var ett tag sen. så the red scare är på riktigt. men sen skapade de curdt cobain. han låg med. en del.

alla vet ju det här. och jag undrade varför ja alltid förlorade i varenda argument oavsett allt.

för de andra är från brödraskapet. brödraskapet eller knivsöder. och knivsöder är ryskt. varför det bara finns kvar 2% av blond och 2% av rött. de enda vita. resten är khazarer.

om de har snea ögon är det östasienblandningar. rasism finns av en anledning.

eftersom fruktan är motsatsen till kärlek så är rasism en legitim känsla.

och rasism är det svåraste att förstå.

förut fanns det rödhåringar i skogen. på 1950 finns det dokumentation om det. nej, neandertalargener är inte dominanta. de fängslades och våldtogs på 1980-talet som ett experiment. nu finns det inga kvar i naturen. i grottor. i berg. i skogen.

julia kallade sig tysk jude. men nazi kommer från ashke nazi. som igen betyder khazarisk tysk. de ändrade biblen från jhvh till guth. som är från visigothernas språk.

äkta trollspråk är jämtländskt.

och ja farsan pratade svenska för ett tag sen. nu är det jämtländska.

han spökar som ett troll. inget konstigt. genom tinitus (bas, diskant, brus) och löv och talande väggar. tinitus är när mor gör något fel. löv är när hon gör något rätt. saker talar när hon försöker dölja något (redigera biblioteket) / räknar ut en passande lögn. vet inte direkt exakt hur det är. men ungefär så.

hon vet det här men muslimhatet är stort.

och om man tittar på ordet. mus lim. få se.

http://www.slangopedia.se/ordlista/?ord=muslim

ah. morsan visar inte tuttarna. att inte göra det räknas som anti haram. ickehora.

innan hon var 19 använde kvinnor höckle utanför hemmet. samma sak. ursäkten är "man behövde höckle för att inte håret ska fastna i grenarna i skogen". ja, det är ju kreol. omöjligt att förstå alla dess paraleller för en logistiker.

om ni börjar få noja tänk på varför. aldrig bra att överdriva. men alla går igenom samma sak. så spelar ingen roll egentligen.

guds straff är ångest som inte är farligt det värsta som kan hända är att man svimmar och sen är man sig själv igen och ångest är ärfligt.

ärfligt = karma återfödsel
guds straff = dömning (se darkhalos låt "heavens fury" till exempel). typ demoner gnäller på allt och inget som du gjort oavsett under ditt liv. min varar i 8 timmar (rekordet var 18 timmar. vanliga människor har det dygnet runt. de är också ensamma och deprimerade. därav nutida trollspråket. jätte bra kul toppen och inte mycket mer. praktfyllon har en aura av det. akta er för puböl eller all öl. du blir ett troll. ångest ensam deprimerad. du vill inte leva så. gäller för all alkohol dock). som jag kallar det. dubbel katatonisk epileptisk förtvivlan med aggressivitet och suicidalitet. om du lägger till marijuana får du paralysering också. spindlar. om du lägger till snortande får du epilepsi. om du lägger till corona vaccinet dör du i en epilepsiattack. verkar inte så roligt. tjoo.

att nämna är att du får ont i allting som är tekniskt möjligt. efteråt mår du bättre och smärtan är borttagen. men om du är som mig blir du elakare bortom elak också. måste ha luft. mitt blodtryck blir 180 genom 130. för zombie zoo blir den typ 0. som therese. det var just i början av vaccinet dock. vet inte nu. om det är -20 grader måste jag ändå ha öppet fönster. inte så roligt. ingen som förstod utom bella. men hon anpassar sig till personen. hon har varit överallt. allas syster. jag vaknar upp varm. exoskeleton. är så många blandningar. svårt att hålla koll på allt. alla som din mor har legat med sparas i livmodern. men går att redigera som man vill.

ilska är när allting kokar över. om ni tar skit gör inte det. det byggs upp över tid.

psykos kan kännas i luften. ondska. jag känner den på cirka 100 meters avstånd. på andra ställen är den i stora delar av landet. beroende på hur dåligt de behandlar någon. och när de får det tillbaka. beth orton var som mig. straight edge. gick in i sydamerikas djungel. inget hände. allt händer av en anledning och med tillräckligt mycket anledningar händer det något. 1 dag efter att jag la upp det på facebook med 70 "vänner" händer den förfärliga terroristiska terrorattacken av terrormått med 1 död. wow. överstabefälhavaren sa om och om igen "det här är det vi alla längtar efter". fick några likes på den av zombie zoo.

nästhögsta är robot sen är det fjäril. kanske. allt är frekvenser så 1 nivå behöver inte betyda någon annan. det sägs finnas 100 nivåer men vem vet. m teorin. epr paradoxen. de vill ha kvar newton fysik. men atombomber och tv funkar ju. tv är elektronkanon. omvandlar materia till ljus. allt brus är nedgradering av frekvens. eftersom bara en ren frekvens är vad högre dimensioner är. men det beror på gener hur stark resistens du har för det. klarar inte egentligen av något syntetiskt. piller gör mig arg och trött. inget annat. neuroleptika funkar bara som låten supa knulla röka knarka som tidigt som möjligt. när de grå tar er måste ni va totalt döda på insidan. som alla. zombie zoo. om det är 100 dimensioner och tid är den fjärde så finns det 25 tids dimensioner. är förvirrande. lol. framåt bakåt uppåt heråt vänster höger. sen modifierare acceleration. sen modifierare rotation. och mer. blir en del. stor skillnad mellan acceleration och stilla ger höga g krafter. tiden saktar in. har bara fått +25% hastighetsökning. det går att minska och öka som man vill. vid förtvivlan är det typ 1%. inte så roligt. 8 timmar tar en del tid då. om du har någon nära dig får du deras dömning. om de är elaka som alla utom bella är gör de ljud. de känns. mycket.

om folk tror att ångest är att man inte tycker om ljud eller människor och att man gråter och väntar på att bli räddad har de aldrig känt smärta. jag går sönder om jag är bland folk. mina föräldrar hade på nyheterna i 8 timmar. för att säga mig att allt är mitt fel. va på 70 års fest. höll ut. far sa att han skjutsar hem mig när som helst. han ändrade radiokanal för att igen förklara att allt är mitt fel. som att åka i en helvetestaxi. demoner. 96% av mänskligheten. säkert mer. finns bara 2% blondiner och 2% rödhåringar i världen. all konverterar omsåän vid födseln. i europa var omskärelse bortagen sen hände viktorianismen. igen, khazarerna sen napoleon. appropriering. delete-sjuka. 5 på morgonen. räknas väl som morgon. typ. gudar behöver inte sova mycket. de behöver blod. äldre kulturer åt endast växter av en anledning. innan stenåldern var det guldåldern. 5.4 av 2.8 miljarder år. grottor. godnatt godmorgon etc.

(no subject)

hi. people are wiser than me. they have gone through worse things than me. or they have had too much fun. and now its over. and when you pass over the edge you cant just do anything. maybe you can do anything under some conditions but you cant say as much. doesnt that mean you turn into a robot, an animal? im not quite sure. i dont know other people. are their happier than me? and i meet these people and because they are like me. eventhough theyre not but they are. and thats just how things are. i cant change it because its how things are.

and yeah it is possible to change things. for better or worse. to make the world better or worse. it does feel futile often. but its not. and i will think its futile again soon maybe probably. but thats just how it is.

and in 2019 there came this new music style. maybe its old i dont really know. i dont know a lot about music. its called deep house. but just like rnb the style evolves over time and is something else. uhm and i wont give lots of instructions and link it and be a fool. because if people are stupid great but theyre not. and if they act weak or stupid then good for them.

god hears you. so youre never alone. except you can be. but he still knows everything. and it can seem impossible. and will take a long time. and it gets better. i hope.

uhm and the mix im linking to has a real strange still picture. it looks good but not. she doesnt look happy and all gone. but the music sounds good. but not. in a strange way. forlorn and words i dont know because i dont know a lot of words.

and i wondered if its good to bring to light to something and get money out of it. in some ways it gets worse and in some ways it gets better. i think it mainly gets better though.

and if people can relate to it and it makes them better or worse persons i dont know. but it is said music can calm the beast. so it must be more better than bad.

and maybe its about someone i knew or not and she doesnt want me to talk about her maybe and she thinks of me or not and has me hidden inside her mind and she doesnt want me to get out and its confusing but its how normal people are. i like thinking about horrible things and then im not happy but eventually i am and the trauma is gone. its how i work though. maybe for some people the trauma is too big but why do you keep doing it? and if you cant effect it well you can and its difficult and. oh. weird.

i write in a different style now and i dont really know why. its better without a bunch of punctuation and maybe it sounds like im desentitized but i turned that a long time ago so im just being myself finally. and maybe that music is about me as well. i mean you cant portray a guy as weak or a victim or anything. its not how it works. and maybe theres music out there but i dont really see that.

because guys just get really angry if you treat them or their family badly. and uhm im not like that. because they were too many and they were everywhere. what are you supposed to do then.

and if you were too young to understand and you hadnt really been that badly treated before and you thought the world is beautiful and full of love and wonders and it wasnt that what were you supposed to do.

and i dont really believe in rebirth because for it to happen it takes a long time through many phases and i dont really remember anything so how could i remember something which happened so long ago. and even if i did how would it help me. transcendental music doesnt talk a lot about that it talks about bigger subjects with few words or none at all. just a bunch of sounds not a lot.

and if i only know of one trance song that is good and its the best one ever made and its the first one i ever heard then maybe god is there and guides me in the right direction. but he cant do everything because then it would be boring. and he applies empirically and if he controlled everything down to minute details what would be the point.

and it feels like im talking to someone here and if im just delusional but it still feels like that and it has a purpose and if i try to talk to myself it just sounds stupid and it goes too slow. and i dont really write that fast compared to some othere and it doesnt really matter. who you are is who are and if you are that and you are at top speed and cant go faster it doesnt matter.

and if you can keep up this speed for a long time. and then someone comes in and says 1 word and it means more whats the point then.

and maybe they just think a lot in their head and faster and cant really grasp what their reality is about and maybe they like me a lot or not and i live for attention but if i met someone like me what would be the point i dont really like me and if you meet someone opposite but you have some things in common and theyre really not like anyone else and it wasnt gods plan but maybe not because hes not very fond of black magic. but if you it against a coward who rules the world and it devestates him and make him realise what hes done and it frees people and you get punished a lot by him and you end up where you are now and if people still hate you for other things well i dunno at least you tried. i heard thats what life is about the struggle and if youre happy whats the point then i mean its good too but if you want something and theres something in the way you can be subversive or you do the taurus method you save up energy and then you just explode because you try to find the target and then you run really fast ahead and you hit it and you obliterate it except theres more like him and they protect him well and maybe they do good or maybe they do not and maybe they are the shadow hands that makes terrible things happen and have since time began and if they do and you hit so it hurts and if it got better there or not because youre never supposed to say what you mean or what you feel youre supposed to beat around the bush except oxes arent like that they see the truth the world for how it is and its just greyscales except then you see something red from the distance and you dont know what it is and it becomes clearer and clearer and you do a lot of research on it and it is the red target it is and you use all your power to destroy it and then it destroys you except you can handle it alone so how does it matter and they only kill you if they can its much easier to silence you to make you invisible like them but in reverse maybe and maybe you were invisible before and did horrible things so its just gravity what goes up must come down.

but no its not like that if they truly are the manifestation of the false prophet and you are one of the legends of this area then hit so it hurts and by god it musta hurt and if i made a dent in them i dunno i told the truth for what it is and i have no idea who it was and he seemed foolish and abusive of his power like me except the brotherhood protects me its not like the brotherhood you know the brotherhood is trees and you know theyre really pissed off at humans and the other brotherhood is the earth herself they speak in a really old language i dont really understand anything of and if my heritage is that the actual earth and people who took care of the forest or didnt and made money out of it and made cotton into money well its confusing

and if they were slaves to a higher power and if schoolbooks said one of these rule the earth except it said there werent that many of it it was there in plain sight they made no fuss about it and maybe i have their blood in my blood so i dunno but you can revolt against your own kin if they turn rotten or have always been that and now they get pissed off at me again so i guess i need to get more high because the martial arts wellness thing doesnt really work for me and if im related to the greatest martial artist ever in modern time great for me

and i can hear all the other brotherhoods laughing and calling me names or whatever for merely i dunno existing and i didnt do a good job of it before and i dunno

but it seems more like the powers that be dont mind if you fuck up but if you fight back they use your previous fuckups to destroy you and if these people have fucked everyone up well their time has come and if they stiil manage to ruin everything well good for them if you destroy someone why would you be happy about it i dont really get it and if you destroy a country or the earth well why would you do that and oil is just this natural substance that replenishes naturally but maybe its not good for us and the high price serves a purpose and capitalism is good because before we had feudalism and it was really horrid

and if all this repeats and never gets better the people have to stand up and hit so it hurts and if we fail well what can you say at least we tried we might not go to history books or get deleted from history because it just repeats and repeats and gets worse and worse and if we are just a chess piece on a board for some people to have fun with us maybe we only should have fun but we had that in the 70s and look where it brought us

and maybe the false prophets are good people and if someone talks of their bad points maybe theyre missing the bigger picture because lies are lies and truths are truths and the opposite of a truth can be another truth and ok its possible to affect the world i know that now

and if you fucked up what are you gonna go to get in a better mood i mean your conciousness is there what are you gonna do about it and if youre really powerful and control the world and youre treating someone that i like badly and i fight bad and you almost destroy me in the process does it matter then and if someone calls themselves different and you listen to them a lot and you point out their faults and again this gets deleted because theyve had their fun now they wanna make money to afford going to mars with their people before the earth is obliterated in what way i dont know

and if the world is just computers at one point well great i like air and water and i dunno not much else nature doesnt seem to like me and neither society as a whole so i like writing a lot and i tried some other things but i really just like writing and if all i have is my familys homecooked food and that was the only way to tell me they loved me and i tried to cook good food and got tired of it and made this really good dish because once just once they screamed that iran is getting nuclear weapons so i figured if the world ends it should be possible to survive without electricity or modernism and

im really desensitized and it feels like no one cares and i feel better than ever i dont need to adapt to other people and thats mainly about impressing them and im not really good at it i just copy things from here and there and pretend to be happy and i dont really look at peoples eyes when i do this because i go into this flow where i just talk and maybe thats transcedance i dunno and i didnt really talk to people before

but maybe i made them happy but they didnt give anything back and i got that once and its over and im myself thats what love should do it should change you if youre still the same or worse whats the point and if you stick to your families ideals thats great and if i have 2 ancient brotherhoods that have protected me and it was no point in being afraid well great it didnt feel like that but they didnt hit me or worse they just picked me apart one by one once in awhile like i dunno snipers with gravel that hit where it hurts and if i did something wrong then great

and now i realised that you should yes be yourself but you should also think of others and you cant really fool anyone and if you perpetuated this for so long to be a rolemodel and you were just a fraud and you had the best chance ever except a lot of people seem to be like to be treated badly like if youre rigid and boring but really not you just dont know what to say and if someone makes your day then great i cant really judge people because i dont know what theyre about and if theyre apart of another brotherhood which is just sand how are they supposed to be proud of themselves that they ruined the earth and maybe i did that to another planet somehow in a strange way and thats really odd and if the very manifestation of love in the solar system died what am i supposed to do about that and maybe it was the sandplanet which got pissed off because the work i quoted because i didnt think was copyrighted but it was but maybe it wasnt and maybe someone powerful got hit where it hurts

and it hates everything which men stand for in any way whatsoever but i didnt feel it was mean i just saw it as this really amazing writing thats what art and creation is its making something beautiful out of something ugly and if you copy the ugly to show that its ugly because you think its the right thing to do because you think god said that to you and hes presented that way and a whole planet died well i dunno

and i didnt realise these things before and now im lonely but i was that before and sometimes things dont work out the way you want them to and maybe it gets better for someone else if you struggle even if you lose and copying someone else is a really bad idea

and thats all i did before and i dont get why anyone liked it and if they did great like i said i cant read others minds even if everyone else seems to know everything about me and if im a national fraud well great they didnt say anything but they just bided their time and you cant whine about things that happen if they happen they happen you should accept it and if you get silenced or a shadow or a ghost and you have almost nothing its like going up in a fight against someone thats stronger than you and you do a good dent on him except his brothers are far stronger except you did a really good dent and they used their powers theyve always used and a lot of people are like that they fight the false prophet until they almost cant say anything

so they talk in other ways pictograms which are worse anyone can read them instantly its like an image and you just get shocked and scared and fearful and think everyone has figured you out and the less you say the more you say

and i write a lot. sorry. i thought i was just a bother then i found some people who cared but i didnt really realise that id spent so much time trying to impress and now i have nothing and now im free and does anyone really care and am i in the afterlife though everything is normal but weird and if you can affect something and you do it sloppily because its easy well then you got what you deserved and if the shadowhands know everything they also hit you where it hurts and theres a lot worse things than mere shadowbanning its from higher source and they dont want the world to change and if youve abused their powers to be happy or do something you really cant well its your own fault and i was gonna backup this to another place and wow nothing is strange now its dark outside except youre not supposed to stay up at night i did that before and i was happy but then i became the night and youre not supposed to hang out with light people because they are themselves in the night not just all the time theres 2 worlds and i didnt realise it its the world of light and the world of shadows and the shadowworld is really amazing and terrifying and thats me i was amazing and terrifying all the time even in my sleep when i didnt dream because i tried to make art and make a difference but no one knew about me because i had misunderstood everything

and if this is how i am how pathetic is it if youre on an island by yourself and thats all there is to it and you cant just scream and be a fool and if someone hears you and youre in a horrible place which is common and theyve been listening to your utter horseshit because theyve met others like you in such despair and if they listened and could handle it maybe they were your brothers but you were also banished from there and thats how its been going on and if god listens well great and if im ungodly what is left then

and there are other people like me much worse who were rescued from war which the shadowpeople created and they got here except they had none of their people and they write about it and it sounds real beautiful and theyre not accepted here so they stopped listening to this strange people which were supposed to take care of them but they just dumped them here and thats it and if im apart of the shadowpeople how am i supposed to be happy about myself and if i critiqued someone much stronger and they just whiffed and big brother pushed a button and i was gone and everyone else who cared for me

except my life was a lie so whats the point i just talked a lot of dirt about things i had no idea about and people sort of accepted me the place wasnt corrupt it was the truth and nothing else but then the shadowpeople were there again because the legends critiqued them and its not a good idea to do that directly if youre abstract and speak in broader terms like music its good except music is too good i dont really understand it i mean its beautiful but thats it

and then youre treated to this prophet and i really need to do something else this seems futile again i again think im this random loonie which people just think is an embarassment and if i just went away the world would be a better place but again the brotherhood protected me and they are like shadowhands too they are everywhere and i didnt realise that and if i am an old soul ive just been a king and never realized what anything really was about and i grew in ranks

but then again am i just an android a replicant an experiment so the powers that be could have fun making this freak and study what happens like throwing a rock into water and if you do that and bad things happen and are you really supposed to worry about everything and i opened another beer and im alright except i seem to get restiant to everything which is because i have really strong eyes but theyre not beautiful though and if even youre eyes look horrid and you just continue and they are the well to your soul do you really have a soul and if youre fighting someone you were before whats the point.

anyway i could talk more. but its not really going in circles. i dont think im a genious or funny or great anymore. and the shadowpeople might be doing a good job. i dunno. i cant see the earth from above and understand whats happening. and i talk about and it was others words others works and thats the definition of a sellout. and if i dont make money out of it but some sort of divine debt then what i have i achieved.

and now i think im going to be entertained. but then again if youre happy for free you have to pay for that later somehow its how it works. and if no one likes you anywhere and you just do the same method over and over well what are you gonna do when the whole earth doesnt like you.

and if you got the opportunity of a lifetime and she was gonna heal you and you didnt get healed well you really screwed up there. and maybe that was meant to be. to dream of what could have been. it still seems futile. like youre supposed to be someone and people think youre great maybe because your destiny was written in that way and you were supposed to affect the world not just be temporarily happy which never worked and you didnt realise that.

and if youre just the product of your father and mother and. im gonna get entertained now. i dont need much. but i took much. i became a ghost and worse than a ghost. ghosts you see and get scared of. except you didnt see me. and i had an inner and an outer image and the inner was wretching. and if the light world is shallow it turned real weird. because i looked at people like entertainment and people arent that theyre people.

and if im supposed to learn something from this i did. except life goes on for a really long time. and i dont have anything to look forward too anymore. i cheated the system and i had a better chance people. except she said she thought she treated me badly. but again i thought everyone knew everything about me. and she seemed to know more than that. but she had a heart for me at least and for others. and she wasnt for me and one was. and shes from a really old place. and. they get talked about badly but everyone is as good as they are bad. and of course the general opinion is just the bad one. but if brotherhood is the meaning of life and you lost your only brother and you had a brotherhood which took care of you.

and im bored. and lonely. like usual. i need my entertainment. i need to think im a rockstar but im just a raving lunatic. and if you came to a place where you turned into a star and they treated you badly except hey had discipline and you were jealous at people because it wasnt about merit it was about achievements and now some of them arent happy should you be jealous because other people have worked harder for you.

maybe god is listening and he thinks im doing something but soon im dying of loneliness. and its calm in the atmosphere because everyone is happy. except you cant be happy all the time and ignore the light. thats not how it works.

and i got what i wanted for a short time and then i got my judgement and it was a horrible world and i dont want to get back to that and if theres worse places well congrats to myself i really achieved something huh. and if they make art about me and its good art well how am i supposed to be happy about that i destroy everything i like or pretend to like and im really just cheap appropriated entertainment. like a 100 channels at once browsed randomly.

and if thats all i am well wonderful. and if there was something in my brain its coming out now and im not happy about that. and i cant see how it could be better.

and people accepted me this year except they ranted and i as well against something that was really good and they didnt talk about it because if you do it disappears.

and if people complain about something just from 1 angle you need to ask yourself what the other angle is. something is just as bad as its good except if it speaks to people through originality and beauty its more good than bad. and if someone knew of your goodness that you struggled so hard to achieve well whats the point.

and this someone is your brotherhood. and maybe pain is a good inspiration. you cant walk around thinking youre good when youre really a douche and theres really nothing special about you. and if someone near you thinks that too well great what are you gonna do about it its their life and youre connected and i dunno.

and the music ended and i realized i only needed it before because i blocked out the outside world. except this place is really wonderful so it got better. it might not really exist. and you were going to get really drunk and thought it was monday except it was sunday so the place was closed and another place where horrible things happened and you didnt really want that to happen you just wanted something to happen.

because life ended and your life was a fraud. and if you made a difference how does it matter. youre not special youre not on the level which other people on your level is. you created and destroyed and recreated and you really made a mess of everything.

and if this was your destiny or your parents wishes did they mess up and if they did are you going to tell them that. and you saved your mother and you made her wish come true. so you did something good.

and why would you want to get respect from yourself whats the point in that. and if they outside world and nature and the modern world and people in general arent made for you whats the point.

and if you are just an experiment well the powers that be you failed. except you didnt fail because im just a study in stupidity. and you do this over and over and if you come to a conclusion great but you really ruin things and you ruined me except if im just whatever i am how does it matter.

and people with strong discipline might seem shallow but they worked hard to achieve it. and i cant see how anyone could be mad at the powers that be they are there for a reason. and why would rebel against something that is stronger than yourself if you outnumber them. and if you do outnumber them with your brotherhood and theyre really just disappointed about you since a long time back and you never got it whats the point.

and if it was made to be this way. well. great. and do slaves have souls? and if you treat them like dirt over and over? and if they strike back in the shadows. who is slave and who is master? and if their point of life isnt to be happy but just to make a difference or are more powerful than you and you misused their power. how are you supposed to be happy about yourself?

and maybe time will tell and maybe i made an impact but i cant really see it i just fucked up a lot. but if this is the sign of the times and you got saved and did something good well what to say. and if someone was sent not to punish you but to make peace with their and your people and you really achieved that somehow well great.

and there doesnt really seem to be anything special or good about neither black or white people so what is the point of anything. and if we cant experminate bugs or rats of ants who is the true leader. and if some dinosaurs survived the worst calamity ever we should respect them. they are our fathers and mothers. and if theres microscopic animals which live everywhere which outnumber us by such incredible numbers who is in charge.

and if the shadowpeople want to demonise them well whats the point. they are the foundation of life. they are the very basis of life and existance and everything they are the fathers and mothers of dinosaurs.

and what if i feel like deleting this whats the point. and if everything disappears whats the point too.

and if bitcoin isnt a scam its just a way to make rich people even richer and they will flee to mars and nuke the earth well what are you supposed to do you dont have that money. and then youll be the master of nothing like that planet you destroyed.

and maybe the old 10 rule is for real. except you didnt eat 100% much much more.

and look where you are now. and i realise why they make fun of fat people except they didnt really do that.

and you fucked up and nothing much happened. well things happened but they werent that bad.

and people that are supposed to take care of others do a really good job. they might be hard to understand. but they do it for the better. they have discipline beyond your wildest dreams. i cant even remember 1 thing.

and since i was inside so much i dont really want to exercise anymore. and now i want to do that except everyone i sleeping and its not good to get everything you want.

and if someone close to you is exactly the same dead on the inside and pretends shes happy and shes been looking over you and shes been proud of you and youve met her eventhough you didnt know.

then you really cant read people good. and if shes one of the most wonderful people in the world shes number one and she understands you like no one else not even your mother does. because she is just your mother she has nothing to do with anything.

and a friend in needs and friends indeed and thats all there is to it.

and you really fucked up and shes showed signs everywhere and you didnt really notice since far back whats the point. except shes proud of you no matter what except she doesnt want you to fuck up royally and that point is getting closer.

and i can whine all i want about how much frauds or fake or egoistical people are but im the prime example of pure evil.

and if i did more good than evil which i dont really believe in whats the point.

and if i affected people by pretending im something im not and thats the whole point. well. then what?

and i read about bad people all year or for years but if they do good things too and they through worse things than anyone else who am i to judge them.

and its so easy to be stupid and it takes lot more time to think things through. except if people are cold and they enjoy it that way and youre somehow worse than that.

and should i be proud of this new writing style its been done before.

except ive seen people talk this way before they dont seem to happy about life and theyre not happy about me and my judgement is approaching and all i can do is fuck up more.

and if someone can change your entire being with 1 single word or less and you just spam and no one really cares whats the point.

except one time i felt really pathetic i was just lying aroud in misery and she came and made it better somehow and she understood what feels like to in pain and the ones hes with comes from even worse things and his dad is like me only worse theres really nothing about him at all.

and he rose out of it and theyre happy and theyre not like others. and if the meaning of life isnt becoming a parent but becoming a prophet i royally fucked up.

and there are more powerful people than big brother and that is big sister. but maybe youre not supposed to say that.

and there is depravity beyond depravity for you and everyone else and if you have no morals where will you end up. and if the extreme punishment you had before was good and you overcome it and its just even worse things ahead whats the point.

it is said everyone goes through this but i dunno they get manners and discipline from the start. and maybe they go through worse times but they snap out of it.

and i did that now and now theres nothing left. and thats all there is to me and has always been. and the future isnt looking bright ahead.

and other futures might be there or theyre the same and everything is joke but maybe its good.

and i was an abuser just of an unusual substance that no one really talks about because its so good and abundant. its soul hasnt been corrupted. because it is the very essence of love. and since love is everything it is everything. except i didnt believe there was a greater world out there and maybe people pretend its not like that because its how it is.

and if there was another world where it wasnt like that where beauty and uniqueness and strangeness wsa hailed. well great im not apart of it though. the world is what is it and thats it.

and real people dont want to kill or hurt you it doesnt matter like that. and there isnt random acts of anything except you can be a fool and just randomly damage things. and thats not how its supposee to work.

and if youre a god and you just fuck around. and you look at your universe and its just a mess how are you supposed to be happy about yourself.

and if the world is representation of my mind and theres nothing to my mind and i fucked up things beyond earth well what is there to do except wait for judgement.

and i could talk like this indefinately. and i could post it online except no one will ever answer again. its just me and this nothingness. but thats all i am about. and i could make poetry or art or photoshops but like always it doesnt feel like anyone is listening or caring.

and if you only meet your family every now and then you really have to appretiate them. because theres nothing better than them. they might be really horrible people but they show their best side out.

and if you worked in the shadows and you thought it wont be brought to light well sorry thats not how it works. you cant always get what you want but if you did and complained about others when theyre the same whats the point.

and you have abused the brotherhood and. you were supposed to be cute and amusing like a doll or teddy bear or something. they might have a soul but you dont. and everyone might be like this but at least they do their job and they have discipline and you dont and thats how this mess started.

and if you finally saw the real truth and it made you angry whats the point. and you talk to the greatest power in the universe and you divulge their details to nobody and they arent amused again what was the point of that.

and the others arent about something they are only a reflection of you. and if you pretend you know that and you try to get notoriety out if it sorry you failed.

and you might have been from another world but now you are here and you really dont fit in and never did.

so im not happy now and im not sad and im not angry im just smart and if thats the real truth well congrats.

uhm i guess i should appropriate something something unique and then it gets destroyed it gets frozen in time which is the epitome of death and thats what you are about you have freckles and theyre trolls nothing else they are stones they are medusa they are the forest woman which might be good looking and you see their front side and you die and thats all you are except you dont like the forest and it doesnt like you because you were put on this earth to make a difference except your not light and your not chaos youre just stupidity and it has no frequency it just exists by itself and it never realises that.

uhm ^__^ i should really charge my phone and call someone. they might not like me and are just putting on a show but theyre tough and you have about 2 left one likes getting amused except thats now what its about youre supposed to be true and you were so good at that huh.

and if cats and demons are the same way great. maybe its just because i live where i do but everyone seems like a dog or a cat except theres good dogs and bad cats and im a bad cat except im not. anyway is words are a virus and theres really nothing to me because i just suck up stupidity.

and women dont want sex you just betrayed them and youre nothing but a rapist and a pimp and thats all youll ever be because youll never be able to pay back with even the worlds riches because what youve done is unforgivable and youve done it over and over.

and there might be a beautiful world but youre far away from it now.

and you cant really talk to people because you turn into your normal stupid self again.

and at least this site is left and if it disappears you can be stupid at some other place and wreck havoc like a worldraper. like a deathstar except its fat ugly chicks which no one likes who are that that are at wonderful places except they dont get why no one likes them they put up a show but theyre just a balloon waiting to burst some day because theyre not filled with anything but hate. and if your eyes are lasers and yours are really strong and you tried to be the like the most healing people in the world except you did it in the opposite way whats the point.

zoomas and psychopath you got those names on you and you didnt care and you just went on and on. and you revealed things you knew because people would like you except you said it only to bad people because they are good on the surface and theyre just hallow and if they werent before they are after your treatment.

and something happened again and you were too stupid to make it better and it doesnt get better from now on.

and if you made someone happy and then you didnt and you should call him except hes dead inside and you did that and theres nothing left of you or him whats the point.

and you didnt want to be at bad places or die but you are the bad place and youre dead and you just emanate hate and thats it. you are a mummy except you dont do a good job of it.

and hiding instead of facing yourself only makes it worse because you want everything but nothing wants you.

and the writing window is slow and goodnight.

(no subject)

and i have found 3 modern languages.

the first tells you youre a stone.

the other is beyond horrible.

the third one curses you beyond your wildest dreams.

when you sink low enough you are at the first which you are all the time.

the second one is atrocious.

the last one you cant comprehend what theyve gone through.

all these are limited vocabulary languages and their words are powerful beyond your wildest dreams.

except they arent a holy old language which you shouldnt abuse. and if you do use it you should have the gods on your side in doing it. or youre in real big trouble which you are now. and it will never get better.

because the end is near and you will be apart of the end because you killed an entire planet in an instant.

you are not a hacker because they hate you beyond your wildest dreams.

you are not really anything you are a lot of colours but youre not a rainbow youre just static and its not beautiful and thats the world you have built up.

you can write here and soon you will delete it because you went over the edge. and theres a reason for gods wrath except gods power is failing. then you can be yourself but without real tangible people whats the point.

you mentioned truths beyond truths about external entities the most powerful things except there are more powerful now and they talk to you and they dont sound happy. they dont visit and scare you because you are protected against good and evil and what are you then.

a dragon which wrecks random fire wherever it goes. it kills countries and keeps them in perpetual fear and despair and this is what you are. and the shadow people are in a worse position and they dont compliment you.

and theres a reason they are in the shadows except youre beyond youre untangible. and you talked to the most powerful person in the entire world it was easy just open up a portal except youre not supposed to do that youre supposed to be cute and fluffy and entertaining. except youre the worst possible traits of a dog and cat and a lot of people are that these days and for some reason they are accepted before they were killed and that was it.

and you dont really feel anything except remorse except it doesnt get better and killing yourself isnt a way out its a way out to a much worse place you cant just respawn like in a computer game and everything is alright and you cant pirate something and think you wont get the darkness beyond darkness from it.

and you are here and now except everyone else thinks about the future and the past. and theres someone who doesnt care about you and you should just ignore her except shes much stronger but in a bad way and the only way to forget here is to work a lot with people that appretiate you except you did black magic the blackest magic except its not that its just the holiest of holy and you are not that you are not darkness you are untangible just a mess and you mess up people. but shes not bad she just turned that way towards you like everyone does and this is going in circles ill be a bad person now.