(no subject)
Aug. 9th, 2022 10:05 amso. cliches. arent they great?
like. some shit poem or whatever.
"you broke my spirits". dude.
thats impossible.
the truth still holds.
your soul never changes state.
i used to know things before.
then i moved back to stockholm.
oh. my. god. so. im almost at my parents place.
i mean. i tried to run away. several times.
you could say i killed my dad. lol.
those stalkers are amateurs.
anyway. i take a seat wherever.
actually. i remember some details.
its in the middle of the carriage.
you know. how on old ones, you had
to open a gateway to get further?
anyway. i sit facing the opposite direction
of the train. theres 4 seats.
i sit on the back to the left.
either i sat there first.
or the woman. shes on the forward right.
doesnt matter. im tired. i dont care.
except, i check her out for whatever reason.
she licks her lips. like. literally.
with her tongue. that never happened again.
something else happened instead.
i got the stockholm syndrome.
its not something you should strive for.
on any level.
anyway. i did get afflicted with it in 2006?
2007? but then i figured like. nah. this is
fucked up? except, the neuroleptics had their
way with me. miss mom said. after we had argued.
for years. and years. and years. anyway. shes old.
shes been through worse things than me? it depends.
everything is relative. your parents story reflects
in yours. be careful who you demonize. who you idolize.
if you do it for real? great. if you dont. well. you
dont want their spirit. if theyre something you want to be?
great. if not. dont do it. dont do it.
those stalkers are amateurs.
the brotherhood? suck my cock.
yeah. my "huge almost gigantic" cock.
you dont think ive gone through pain?
hey. where is the original sin?
why do you hate redheads and blondes?
why did you enslave them before?
oh. thats right. theyre the easiest to control.
they believe in peace love happiness.
so. theres some things you dont wanna know.
like. on bitchute. some dude is mad at somethings
thats happening in the world. now. death threats
against the khazars are commonplace there.
so. this dude says "i hope he gets the north american
treatment. they used to filet their enemies.
the adrenaline made them stay alive". uh huh.
them cute genocided indians arent so cute anymore huh?
and. besides. you die when youve done what you should.
i didnt get 8 years for arson. i got 10 years to live.
a free life. which wasnt that. never been that.
hey. it was alright before miss exes.
but i always talk the same. as for the one before her.
my "relationship". my first one. it seems you have to fuck
whoever youre with. its this big thing. "bonding" or whatever.
so. shes running around and around and around her apartment.
well. it was my fault. ya see. i made some joke we should hit town again.
i dress up as a girl she dresses up as a guy.
uhm. bad idea. at least its like this in my world.
they say sweden is so securalized. well. its not.
everyone needs something to believe in.
so. for awhile. everyone was posting pretty food photos.
except, normal people dont have time for that.
it was like. i dunno why they make stats on it.
a normie in sweden spends 7 minutes per day cooking food.
uhm. WHAT? lol. then miss tall dark and handsome comments that.
she says its "pretto". whatever the fuck that means.
(and then. the trend stopped. i dunno if it was her
or me or both of us. it just stopped. like that.)
urban dictionary and slangopedia. woah. so much fun.
as for miss exes. i couldnt learn her language.
and she was surprised i knew hers.
i mean. my dad talked it. knifesouth.
it wasnt a foreign one. just compressed.
and really. you know exactly what theyre saying.
its about death or sex or taunting or lying or control.
people dont search the truth. or they do. they know everything.
and dont tell it. well. one guy did. he was an open illuminati.
like........ you think people are a certain way. then you meet someone.
and everything gets turned upside down. i asked what drugs he liked taking?
no. he didnt take any. he didnt do their rituals. he was in a spiritual war
against satan and witches. he was afraid of no one. but like always.
the relationship ended before it began. its like that. i dunno if its always
been that. i guess it is. im on the highest frequency. i was a choleric.
as they say. if you go through pain. you get smarter. you have to. to survive.
and pain and wisdom is the same thing. except wisdom isnt happiness.
or maybe it is. the more you understand things. the less pain and suffering you have.
because you know theyre an illusion. then you realize happiness is an illusion too.
theres a definition for this. i dont remember it. and i shouldnt.
i shouldnt pretend someone im not. appropriation is real.
as for people acting weak? its a fraud. but he mentioned that.
and he who came before. thanatomania erotomania.
the internet used to be this place for knowledge.
like. the middle of the 90s. you searched and you found.
then the internet turned into tv. mainstream media.
so. theres even ipv6. its a LOT of numbers.
the guy who created mr poetry site uses it.
i was paranoid. you know? like the private investigator
i pretend i am. that im the judge jury and executioner?
so. 4 women have wanted to marry me. it wasnt the other way around.
it didnt happen. and it wasnt supposed to happen.
they show you their ultimate truth.
and they ask you. do you accept me for who i am?
so. i know a lot of cannibals now. great to brag about that huh?
i mean. THAT surely doesnt creep out people? lol.
so. the 5th dimension is interesting. i dont like numbers though.
women dont seem to. but they do. like. i heard some extreme alcoholic.
she wasnt that. just a guy trapped in a womans body.
so shes talking. like "i took 10 beers. and 20 shots. and"
i dunno. i dont know that world. i didnt know then if she meant
shes taken that ever or on one night?
and the most important thing are TAXIS.
and SOMETIMES TAXIS ARENT SAFE EITHER!!!!!!!!
uhm. youre in the middle of nowhere.
youre so drunk you can barely stand or talk or think.
what did you think was supposed to happen?
take control of your life.
if you want to forget.
uh. why?
theres good and bad in everything.
theres no easy solution.
theres no shortcuts.
so. alcohol is praised.
as the universal solution to everything.
i mean. your life sucks.
you drink. its good again.
you work to get drunk to work to get drunk.
youre not free half of the day.
then youre free half of the day.
simple. right?
gypsys are the same.
its like gyspy rose frequency.
cant pretend i know anything about it.
so i was making up that i was married.
and she says "i.... dont know what you are".
ow. gypsys spend half the day begging.
and half the day having fun.
the world is their oyster.
everywhere they lay their hat is their home.
theres a reason the khazars keep
getting kicked out of countries.
its quite confusing. to sort everything out.
so something is a lie. and the truth there is a lie.
and then you get 3 lies and 1 truth.
and only 1 of them is a truth.
and. omg! lol.
so. subspace. fun fun fun.
manifestation is real there.
on such a high level its silly.
magic? you just have no idea.
so a guy says powerwords.
hes like "clone". looks at me.
now theres 2 of me? uh. fun.
great. when i just got in there.
i realized. life is like a maze.
so. i buy some shampoo. he steals it.
uses the whole fucking thing.
i mean. he looked disgusting.
afterwards. better than getting drunk!
literally. he looked 30 years younger.
we only really talked for real once.
and he disappeared then.
he got back eventually.
he says. one word only.
maze.
labyrinth.
theres some hiphop group or whatever.
called that now. i dunno if they manifested
the same time he said it or i thought it.
it doesnt matter. science is just numbers.
theyre an approximation of the ultimate reality.
but if reality is a lie? how does it matter?
and if you measure somethings state.
and it just doesnt make sense?
what the fuck are you gonna do?
OH. LETS MAKE A PARTICLE ACCELERATOR
THATS BIGGER THAN 2 FUCKING COUNTRIES!!!!
yeah. thats a good idea. not.
and. anyway. no point in ranting about things.
when you control everything. or is that a lie?
i am cyberchrist? tracey. you mean a lot.
you have meant a lot. the less you say.
the more you say. its simple.
an atom where he exists could shatter all existance.
i used to find these interesting websites.
in the 90s. i came up with some interesting theory.
and there it was. deep thinking.
beyond artificial intelligence.
so what if we have cameras
which can pinpoint everyone
in an entire city?
god knows all.
anyway. i broke miss exes heart.
not that it mattered.
was so fucking tired of her.
and it all makes sense.
we started talking.
when her mom added 2 of
her accounts on facebook.
it makes sense.
theres 2 of her.
fuck no. theres a lot.
its called the brotherhood for a reason.
theyre all the same. like christians.
like romans. like. it doesnt matter.
so. lesse. frequency vibrancy.
no. im pathetic. i cant even remember 3 words correctly.
frequency i get.
the more you evolve. the frequency increases.
it gets better. mom once said.
no. it gets better and worse.
its at the very core of the universe.
but theres something greater than paradoxes.
mind and matter is the same thing.
theres 3 major religions in the world.
judaism christianity islam.
i mean. it sounds weird.
theres not a lot of jews.
it doesnt make sense.
theres palestinians.
theyre the original.
except. theres almost no palestine left. lol.
then theres the khazars.
its all a big mess really.
half of them are in america
half in isreal.
like. 6 mil. 8 mil.
thats it.
like redheads and blondes.
redheads. 2% of the worlds population.
same for blondes.
theres no white man.
theres no white privilege.
and mind and matter isnt the same.
before the big bang.
the universe was pure energy.
it didnt evolve.
it was perfect.
i dunno what it was like.
maybe thats eden.
theres pure energy beings.
they dont evolve.
its their mission.
to guide people.
to help them.
theres a devil on your right.
and an angel on your left.
or. well.
spirtual guides and guardian angels.
thats it.
except. theres negative and positive polarity.
thats why oxes and scorpios just dont work.
yes, theyre opposites. except. theyre not.
theyre the same. theyre 2 sides of the same coin.
like the wise madman. goes hand in hand.
you can pretend youre something youre not.
that youre a being of pure light.
that you do things for the better.
its impossible.
roots and wings.
no such thing as bad music.
no such thing as discord.
everyone has a fan of their style.
they might not be like others want to.
but how the fuck does that matter?
some people get married.
and take out a divorce the next day.
it could be fraudulent.
or it might not be.
so. the japanese leader was assassinated.
or was he? he was killed so he would be in safety.
did he sell out to the greens? or is it beyond that?
paradoxes within paradoxes.
so. i tried to get high without getting high.
its the theory of adrenochrome.
you steal others energy.
but you dont need to.
energy is infinite.
matter is spirit.
and thats all there is to it.
so. miss paradox.
wrote this huge thing to me.
while high. in my style.
then she emails me the next day.
"did my message get through? lol"
i dont know what
"1000 thoughts
in your head
at the same time"
is like.
hasch and beer was fucking boring.
you cant really ask people anything.
just as simple as. what time is it?
you always get different answers. omg!
you know when people lie. its simple.
you ask someone "you did that"
they always answer the same
"i did not do that".
like theres some universal concept of guilt.
and if you dont manifest it. it doesnt exist.
"im sorry if i exist".
so youd implode if your truth got out?
that you hade made 1 mistake ever?
that youve ever ever lied?
if i am walking with two other men.
each of them will serve as my teacher.
i will pick out the good points of the first.
and imitate them.
and the bad points of the second.
and remove them in myself.
so. it sounds like i get all my information
from a wiki. easy to digest.
compliments turn to insults
turn to compliments turn to insults.
what is there to grasp?
what is the difference from truth and lies?
the greys are awesome.
its simple.
it doesnt matter what you do.
it all has the same end result.
so. there was some chick.
she was untreatable.
a fucking chaos engine.
where is the original sin?
respect your elders.
you dont talk of incest?
oh. fuck if id know. lol.
then. someone took her to a farm.
she found home. you see. animals dont judge you.
because they dont have a society.
and they dont get drunk on the weekend.
they dont put up a show.
they cant. because theyre natural.
theyre apart of nature.
well. everything is relative. lol.
so. scorpios and oxes.
its simple. theyre both negative polarity.
theres no magic.
so. i make another book for miss mom.
super extra plus. it was fucking A3 size.
crazy shit. each book costed like 1000 sek each.
100$. i dunno if thats a lot. i guess it is.
i tell her. she comes over.
she looks at it.
and says.
its a masterpiece.
so? i knew that.
tell me something i dont know.
negative polarity magnets.
they get close.
they might think something is going on.
but they could just be in different worlds.
theyre the same. eventhough theyre not.
so on adjacent signs.
theyre the real deal.
for oxes.
its aries and gemini.
for scorpios.
its libra and sagitarius.
my bestie was an aries.
mom always shit talked them.
for good reason. i dunno.
miss ex. 2 in her family.
they were aries.
well. nothing wrong with them.
my bestie was ok.
i mean. he was everything.
i dont remember us ever really talking.
there was no tension between us.
no magic. no sex. nothing like that.
then i lost him. and something happened.
like. the concept of "friendship" just disappeared.
i killed it. so. buck 65 interview.
he talks about how his wife left him.
and he was talking to his friends afterwards.
all his friends are women.
some other guy. a leo.
he hated the very concept of a woman.
he had a lot of sisters. it makes sense.
everyone is born bisexual.
if someone treats you badly.
from the male gender.
youre attracted to females.
if both treat you bad.
well. tough luck.
youre not attracted to anything.
inheritance and environment.
theres really nothing special about me.
but thats the thing.
so. people these days.
they have no aspirations.
what they dream of?
they dont wanna be somebody.
no gods. no nothing.
they want, to be...... rich.
thats it. its easy.
you play poker or buy a ticket.
and you can get instarich.
your dreams come true.
if youre just lucky.
if you play the system.
if youre just drunk enough.
everything works out perfectly.
so. my dad liked betting on horses.
one of his brothers were worse.
he said that if he won big.
hed just play more.
he never really did anything.
corona killed him.
or. i dunno. i killed him?
no. i really have no idea.
im not clairevoyant.
i cant read peoples minds.
i have theories. thats all.
im not a scientist. im not on that level.
because they dont believe in paradoxes.
omg! status update! exciting!!!!!
so. was some huge fire alarm.
this dude ive never talked to.
never heard him talk.
dont know what hes about.
whats the point of talking?
to "prove" that you are anything?
for example.
higher classes grade school.
i use jeans for the first time.
great. couldnt figure out nor care
how to use a belt. i sit with my geek trio.
im happy for once? weird. warning warning.
not allowed. so. mapei laughs
at my buttcrack showing. fun.
didnt get anything then.
dont get anything now.
and says
"dude you think youre special?"
i laugh and say "i know im not".
after that. maybe? she wasnt mean anymore.
oh. thought things. didnt write them.
i dunno how it matters.
what if everything that happens has already happened?
what if god has a plan for you?
what if that plan is sinister?
what if you are god?
and you write it down without knowing?
.............lol. whatever ^_^
Someone Special
Artist: Hardcore Superstar
Album: It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
Released: 1998
so. maybe it was in 1998? and the song got released the very second she said it?
or because of how i replied?
i realized last year.
that everything my sis has listened to.
has left a trail.
if i listen to it.
i get apart of her world.
its strongest with dua lipa.
the one who introduced me to her.
said i was.
the only one.
she never said she loved me.
well. she did. when she was pregnant.
we have never done it.
which is logical.
there was julia and bella.
except...... i dont think of julia?
its like. some people just disappear.
from your mind. now. most people have
this thing called "discipline".
so. id eaten from the biscquit jar.
or a bag of potatoe chips.
i mean. it was so easy. to be spoiled.
you do things. your parents dont do anything back.
you continue doing it. so i asked why?
"i thought someday youd realize it yourself".
ouch. i sound like an 18 year old?
like. once or twice. in runescape.
id meet some dude.
he was like "yeah i was dumb before".
and i honestly thought they were like retirement age?
or beyond?
nope. they were in their 20s.
"some people are just built differently"
they were smart. disciplined.
they lived the college life.
sex and drugs and rock and roll.
geeks dont get that.
they get xvids and light in a dark room and mp3 piracy.
wow. something to strive for.
like i said.
DONT FUCKING MESS WITH THE TRENCHCOAT MAFIA.
omg. sad smiley.
except. i was ranting about school.
never really done that.
havent been able to think about it.
the pain was just out of this world.
and some dude says i sound like a school shooter?
ok. makes sense. except columbine was an mk ultra psyop.
geeks dont shoot down schools.
theyre not dumb.
they have root access to the ultimate reality.
if they want to bring you judgement.
theyll do that. you wont have a clue though.
like they say.
microsoft invented viruses.
then they make antiviruses.
it all makes sense.
so. kevin mitnick is now free.
hes gotten his repentence.
and besides. mk ultra scientist are smart.
theyre geeks too. like you wouldnt believe.
so. i heard this talk. from high up government official.
about space. it sounded amazing. for the first time.
powerful people know things.
they wont let you know that you know it though.
biden isnt dumb. he just plays it.
so. some dude goes up to him.
and says hell lose his next election.
no one wants to vote for him anymore.
he gets pissed off. hes in complete control
of his body. he says in a calm but clearly
angered voice "97% of all democrats want to vote for me".
now. you could wonder how this could be possible?
if someone can get close to a president.
they could kill him?
its quite confusing.
so JFK wanted to make a silver dollar.
not just the gold standard.
thats why he was offed.
but he was a mason. obviously.
he talked a lot of shit.
so. who is good. who is bad?
what is truth? what are lies?
is shallowness depth?
is depth shallowness?
hmm. brain decay. fun.
i cant tell the difference
between is and are anymore.
it just doesnt work.
so. music is nice.
theres a lot out there.
well produced.
well made.
an average album takes 3 whole year to make.
there lyrics writers theres composers
theres musicians theres audio technicians
theres drum technicians theres the outer image
theres a whole fucking orchestra.
and theres so much of it.
you rant that they buy your dreams and steal your soul.
or that women buy your dreams and steal your soul.
or that. on any level.
theyre projecting.
theyre hiding something.
theyre the unseen.
the puppet masters.
god isnt a woman.
god isnt a man.
god is a thought.
thats all.
but god isnt a thought.
god isnt a thought at all.
god is nothing.
god is nothingness.
at the beginning.
there was nothing.
at the end.
there will be nothing.
everything disappeared.
so they say.
the unseen take something unseen.
and make it ugly.
they take the essense.
but not the soul.
because you cant figure out the soul.
and soul is just matter is energy
and its really nothing and it doesnt really matter.
it was nice to finally meet a taurus.
its over. which is how things work.
at least for me.
sara. miss sis.
i like proper names a lot.
i like words. theyre pretty.
i only know english and swedish.
so cant say that im good at language.
i tried to impress. its what i do.
so this latina says she knows 6 languages.
its one of the first things she says
when we meet. so.
i can see some italian
characterists on her.
so i just try to say as quickly as possible.
italian spanish portugese english swedish
and one indigenous.
she was impressed. or was she?
i cant read minds.
i dont know what people say to other people.
i am desperate. i am lonely.
so. this joga teacher. obvioously i have no chance on her.
her dude is a yoga teacher also. or something.
i mean. i didnt get it.
and i got into a relationship. finally.
long term.
except, id fucked up some other peoples relationships.
as they say. what goes around comes around.
no one can really get to you when youre happy.
it doesnt work like that.
they bide their time.
do the hit at the exact perfect moment.
revenge is a dish best served cold.
is there subversiveness in this? fuck yeah.
things dont happen over time with me.
i am hyperlaxative. i know.
its a laughable word.
the prime psychiatrist in stockholm said that.
i mean. i was mad at him.
then we had this boss.
i was mad. at things.
so i wrote. a lot.
what was wrong with the psychiatric system.
great for me. i ruined her.
except, she didnt exactly look happy to begin with.
like. most latinas just look so sad.
like they have the world on their shoulders.
and their guys. act like they own the world.
well. thats just a reflection of myself.
im sad. i think i own the world.
infinite sadness infinite darkness infinite loneliness.
theres a concept of world parties.
the planeswalkers. they walk around the world.
they learn things. they affect people.
they cant stand around too long.
either the place goes to ashes.
or they do.
so they walk. and walk. and walk.
it only takes 260 days to make 1 course around the equator.
hey. maybe i shouldnt just rant here.
and make photoshops and music about it.
uhm. why? who could ever give a fuck?
so. its original? im impressive?
to who? ive already proven everything.
before grandma died.
she said, in her normal mocking tone.
that i was a better artist than miss mom.
then i annoyed miss mom. a lot. a whole lot.
i mean. im dumb. im a guy. im a dog.
im a loner. girls just wanna have fun?
but if you never have fun?
if youre desensitized?
whatcha gonna do?
you exagerate.
it got scary in runescape.
some people only do 1 of 2 things there.
they make money.
or they kill people.
i mean. its a fucked up world.
you go the maxing experience and levels route.
and you need goldpoints for that.
or you just buy everything.
items xp levels. everything.
easy.
its not geeks. that is. dudes. engineers.
which like computers anymore.
loners.
its normal people.
normal people have jobs.
normal people have a house.
they dont live in their moms basement.
they do things.
they achieve things.
they improve the world.
they get money. legitimately.
they pay their taxes.
theyre boring. theyre shallow.
except. their life has actual meaning.
they work a job they hate.
they get drunk.
on fridays holidays.
they get drunk to celebrate.
they get drunk when they get home.
and watch tv for 5 hours per day
with 40% commercials every 14 mins.
14 mins content 7 mins advertisments.
the tv is their lover.
their world.
their companion.
their. whatever.
i have concentration now.
there used to be a time i was normal.
fit. actually. it was 2 times.
strangely enough. i ignored my parents then.
or my mom. thinking back.
i spent less than a year in university
somewhere else in the country.
and i got skinny.
this doesnt make sense.
i only took a walk for 1 hour per day.
i walked a lot more later.
except. small town. small municipality.
small. landscape. whatever you call it.
there was this huge hospital. yep.
and there were 2 supermarkets.
both were from the same company.
i used to call my dad. a lot.
he once said i had 2 mothers.
he was dumb when he was young.
but thats the point.
you cant be both smart and stupid.
normies arent like that.
theyre stupid then they realize things.
they get discipline. they get.
the countess is so amazing.
i used to write some poems about her.
i cant really find any of them.
dont recall any.
dont think i read any of them on the radio.
i dont get the concept of "forgetfullness".
people do that. they get into a relationship.
they save their hate for last.
as a defence.
and when they break up with their "narcissistic ex".
they project their insecurities towards them.
simple. then they dont mention them anymore.
theyre gone. literally. they turn off that part
of their brain which has memories about them.
uhm........ how can you turn into a better person
then? if all you wanna do is not get lonely?
to get laid? so. a soyboy definition said.
that soyboys are desperate. they seek love
everywhere and they wont find it.
because they dont know what love is.
love is not sex.
so. mister serial killer.
i remember his name now.
it doesnt matter.
so. art. history. myths. legends.
tell stories about the past.
present. future. another world.
they do this. to teach us something.
but its not the ultimate desire
of the creator to improve the world.
its beyond that. they have this burning desire.
passion. some christian dude
said the heart is in the middle of the chest.
he wanted to see a sunday mass on tv.
i hated him then. or everything else.
so i tried to annoy him with some song.
now. hes a rockabilly dude.
hes a knifesouth dude.
hes calm. and kindhearted.
like me? lol. watch out for those! omg.
i figured he was bullied in school.
by both teachers and normies.
well. dunno. could ask him that.
to impress. to get on his level.
so he wont do subversive things.
like call someone he knows.
its quite a lot.
knifesouth is big.
rockabilly culture is bigger.
it was the start of rock n roll.
quite old religion.
like my dad. he knows everyone.
everything.
and like pussys. he plays weak.
its easy. its called drunken boxing.
like biden does.
like bush the second does?
i mean. hes a fucking genius.
they put him on tv recently.
and like. WHY?????????????!?!?!?!?!?!!
so he says theres mean people who want
to ruin this country called...... iraq?????
he smiles. excuses himself.
and says. "i mean. obviously. ukraine".
you could wonder why things happen.
so. mr rockabilly.
you walk past him. or hear him from a distance.
hes talking to a cop. or a friend.
or whatever. you get nothing of what he says.
he talks in normal tone. quite slow.
about normal things.
and you know somethings going on.
and its not funny.
lesson of the day:
dont kill angels.
dont make angels.
kill demons?
then you become a demon.
cant have it any way. sad smiley.
revenge is a dish best served cold.
you set up shop in another country.
you pay protection fees.
theres karmic debt.
you do good things.
it increases.
you do bad things.
it decreases.
i got my down to 10000.
i had made a poem about that.
10000. i made it into a song.
its still up there.
im not saying you should listen to it.
or even acknowledge my existance.
what is appretiation?
have i gotten what i was looking for?
how do you know what youre looking for?
is your horizon a little slanted?
does it go down? or up?
or is it, just....... horizontal?
forever?
how could the sky be the limit?
if we dont know when the universe ends?
vill du byta
so. no places left. for muppets like me.
no. theres one. in my muncipality.
they paved heaven and put up a parkin lot.
or a mosque. no syrian orthodox church.
oh. now its turning weird again. lol ^_^
im fucked up. i finally realized it.
so. the fire alarm. great. everyone together.
like a party. ive been on a dance floor once.
didnt drink any date rape chemical.
i tried to pretend i know anything.
so i sit in lotus style.
with my arms out.
and i do that for awhile.
i close my eyes
AND TOTALLY GET ONE WITH THE EARTH
AND MAKE EVERYTHING GOOD AND FLOAT OUT
INTO THE COSMOS.......... not.
some crazy mexican comes up.
puts his finger through one my clasped hands.
thats it though.
i take a piss. go home.
and nothing happens.
you have to realize something.
about getting drunk.
you cant take the good without the bad.
if you increase your frequency you also decrease it.
god. i sound like such a creep.
you dont. youre a normie.
youre a nothing.
theres nothing special about being an artist.
theyre just stuck up pricks.
vain assholes.
think they "are" something.
theyre hasbeens.
they were something.
now theyre nothing.
nobody cares.
they make one good song.
put it on an album.
sign the contract.
get fame fortune fanny.
and they tour 300 days per year.
and they have all these people
doing everything for them.
they are supposed to make 5 albums in 10 years.
they make 3 in 7. and burn out.
etc. who cares.
i dont know anything.
i havent really talked to musicians ever.
theyre not like you think.
they dont "teach" you how to write.
how to play the guitar.
they start playing their guitar.
the dont say anything.
and you sing something.
thats how music is created.
its not inspiration.
it is creation.
from creation stems destruction.
creation is destruction is creation is destruction is.
theres no point to it.
i got what i wanted? great? now what?
"i dunno. get married?"
is anyone truly happy?
you dont see them sad.
you dont want to see someone sad.
you dont want to be an influencer.
i dont get how they do it.
you get fans. and detractors.
except some of them change sides.
so. was in twitter. bad mistake.
i thought i deserved someone.
to not be alone.
i thought when bella and i got together.
thered be world peace and.
i checked the news.
it was the same ole shit.
i was exstatic before.
its weird.
i have no idea how i acted.
or how anyone could handle me.
which they couldnt.
they thought i was a free pirated
comedy series.
you watch it. you throw it away.
and thats it. well. i am?
i am a product of the american dream.
because sweden was a nightmare.
but everyone is the same.
everywhere is the same.
stockholm doesnt interest me.
it looks the same wherever you go.
concrete. asphalt.
and thats it.
i tried to make a better world.
pretty colours.
so what?
then i tried to find that better world.
i guess it works for some.
but. people have treated me badly.
so. if i take drugs.
i am. as they say. myself.
i dont like being myself.
being a guy.
guys are angry.
guys are disciplined.
guys die for what they love.
they arent supposed to survive.
they arent supposed to proliferate.
guys are trailblazers.
prophets. kings. legends. pioneers.
so i tried all these things.
professions. personalities.
women arent vain. nor shallow.
if you change your looks
you change your world.
its simple.
if you dress like a cow
you become a cow.
the theory of manifestation.
making up words isnt a good idea.
because words already exist.
and since i dont know anything.
talking about something i dont know.
is a really bad idea.
so i got the urge to see american history x.
great. a guy kills some other guys.
you know. an eye for an eye?
he talks shit. for a year.
nobody cares.
hes the king. hes on top of the world.
except. an amateur thinks hes a god.
a professional thinks hes ok.
thinks dont really exist.
there isnt data. its not 0s and 1s.
and its not fixed.
this seems strange.
you write something.
you photo something
photorealistically automatically. a snapshot.
anyone can be an artist!
heres 10 tips how to be creative!
first tip. heres all these rules
on what youre not allowed to do!
create!
uh. no. if you want to manifest your world?
i dunno why?
then you do that.
the only rules are. there are no rules.
you cant cheat the system.
and sometimes you can only use a computer
30 mins a day. uhm. not a lot of fun.
is it possible to make the world better?
i....... dont think so.
does that make me special?
because im a nihilist?
bad things happen then good things turn out of them.
why not just be a ranting fool and youll improve things?
doesnt matter what you do. be as stupid as possible.
it all turns out good in the end!!!!!!!!!
so. the fire alarm.
it was for real this time.
im not unhappy anymore.
i am not cyberchrist.
im not an artist.
im just a ranting fool.
the last man on earth.
but i dont live on earth.
i dont live anywhere.
i dont even live nowhere.
the space inbetween.
so. i used to exhagerate.
sometimes i manage that.
i use things. i use people.
to get what i want.
but i never get it.
i never get it.
i never get it.
so. i started writing this.
after awhile i feel like im such a fucking genious.
that doesnt work on stage.
youre good. make an impression.
or you get bood off stage.
so. theres 2 paralel stories about microsoft and apple.
it was 3 geeks in some of their parents garage.
bill gates was poor. he was a loser.
geek. no one wanted him.
steve jobs had it all. plain boring shallow jock.
then there was some guy called steve wozniak.
have no idea what he had to do with it.
the birth of the modern personal computer.
so. apple has this image of.
they have an image. thats it.
nobody gave a fuck.
they paid people to make it seem
like their computers were good for anything?
nope. they paid adobe to slow down the pc
version of photoshop.
apple products are 2x expensive and 2x worse.
meaning. 4x expensive. or 4x worse.
then. hallelujah. end of the 90s.
hypercommercialism was invented.
girls and grandparents liked computers.
ive seen this happen.
to even play a fucking computer game.
you needed engineering talent.
640kb should be enough for anyone?
hey, what about 70kbaud too?
ms dos. command prompt.
and linux is still stuck in the 80s?
lol. pathetic.
DO. NOT. FUCK. WTIH. THE. TRENCHCOAT. MAFIA.
so. tried to be modern.
it had escaped me.
i wanted a neat haircut.
to stand out. whatever.
most dont dare to get it.
i saw it in.. 2007?
one some guy.
you shave the left right and back.
the rest is as long as possible.
it has many names.
punk. cyberpunk. crustpunk.
metalpunkcrossover.
malefemale.
i saw it in the 90s.
some neat finnish dude.
wow. now ive written too long.
and that christian dudes words.
"do you get all your information
from wikipedia"?
so. i wrote these poems.
for someone i wrote a lot.
great for me.
i used all these great big words
that i have no idea what they mean.
i strung them together.
and that was it.
i get why guys have a distaste for me.
its logical.
they meet my type all the time.
theyre raving drunk lunatics.
they think they own the world.
and what they say is so special.
and if they just annoy enough people.
someone will actually believe the lie?
except. it wont last.
because theres nothing to them.
they cant achieve anything.
they dont change anything.
no one cares what theyre really about.
because there isnt any.
i dont get things.
in middle upper gradeschool.
we got an assignement to write about our best friend.
now. im real real dumb.
so i thought best friend.
meant a friend. who was best. at being a friend.
you know. rock star? original? cool? interesting?
impressive? has lots of stuff? says lots of deep things?
looks good? has lots of friends?
well. ive become him.
cant really blame him.
but maybe it was my sisters dream.
what is the original sin?
i cant manifest.
i cant make something its not.
i cant have emotions.
because guys arent supposed to have them.
i cant say anything.
because guys dont do that.
i cant use anything but boring colours.
because guys are supposed to be camoflougad.
i cant stand out.
because whoever stands out gets removed.
i cant say deep shit.
because thats what you get when youre drunk.
and you learn things.
you dont say that youre smart.
you are smart. thats it.
if you are something. do it.
i cant not escape what ive done.
is it great that ive written this?
that i wrote a lot shit?
everyone knows this.
everyone knows this.
artists bring it up into the open.
and ruin it. ruin its soul.
and theres no salvation.
i cant have a fucking job.
because i ruined my body
playing stupid fucking computer games.
so they can feel special
well. guess what? everyone is special.
thats what makes them special.
that they are themselves.
anyway. gangsters dont punish you.
they teach you things.
they have patience.
oh god.
they dont talk about disgusting things.
like death and sex.
i do that now.
and. im just pathetic.
no one could handle me before.
and now im fucking atrocious.
they dont talk about amazing or beautiful things.
like love or friendship.
because once the do. it goes away.
how does it matter?
everyone knows this.
so. i thought nobody cared about my art.
and besides. normies kept calling me
"vegetarian" all the time.
i was fucking tired of it.
so i make a straight edge tatu.
great for me.
then because of that.
i met my ex.
great for me?
im the same as before now.
nothing has changed.
LIFE IS LIKE THIS GREAT STORY
LIFE IS LIKE A COMPUTER GAME
yeah. so?
everyone knows this?
pirates had tatus before.
i like beauty. but i dont.
im a guy. im shallow.
like a moth to flame.
im an ox. i see red.
and i run towards it.
thats it.
im not the puppet master.
i destroy the world.
but its just my world.
this place ive imagined.
well. the world is over.
its contracting.
into a big bang.
i wont rebirth it with bella.
and make this great new world.
which will have its first word
TOMBEL.
the word was tombel
and tombel was the word.
no?
that sounds fucking stupid.
should i drink beer at work?
well. being drunk isnt allowed.
you can clean your hands
with rubbing liquor though.
45-96%. you get clean.
you get holy.
you get fresh.
youre yourself again.
an angel of pure light.
except.
angels and demons are the same thing.
it doesnt matter.
hey. maybe i should do something else.
lesse. watch music videos.
and........ thats it.
youre not supposed to be alone.
but if the people that are around you.
say youre not like them?
and then you dont like yourself.
and the few people that cared about you.
well. it wont work.
youll drive them away.
and thats all youll have from that point forwards.
loneliness. because killing someone is no problem.
you can get in trouble though.
so you crush their soul.
not much is needed.
youre subversive.
you say something now and then.
just a word here and there.
when theyre not protected.
no.
a single wolf doesnt attack a flock of sheep.
its the other way around.
a flock of wolves attack one sheep.
hey. its all in the bible.
the concept of "stoning".
thats why "being stoned"
is so confusing to me.
uhm. why would you wish that upon yourself?
or anyone else for that matter.
but that is the brotherhood.
you stand out.
youre in trouble.
the brotherhood has rules.
and regulations.
except, obviously, they dont tell you that.
its the whole concept of civilization.
unwritten rules.
you could read the whole DSM or the dead sea scrolls
or your countries all laws or learn about every single
physical illness.
and what good will that do you?
why does this matter? any of it?
he who speaks does not know
he who knows does not speak
so. i was on scarys shuggashack.
when i got tired of impressing.
or computergames. or wanking.
i tried slashdot. uhm. great idea?
no matter what i said.
i got downmodded.
and i was lonely.
so i said the allowed 10 posts in a day.
and im quite quickly at -2 moderation.
my behaviour turns more annoyed and aggressive.
the account is still up.
i used this great unhackable password before.
hello123. woah. no one could brute force that.
geeks dont make themselves known.
cracking crews. blackhats. computer virus makers.
another 6 months ill be unknown.
malware bla bla bla.
i dont know anything about that world.
i took me 5 years to learn to code
a fucking image or link.
thats fucking pathetic.
so. just like everything else.
the psychiatric system works in shame application.
i dont know how anyone escapes it. or do they? or dont?
so. if i say anything at all on youtube.
it just gets deleted.
it doesnt matter what it is.
if i register with fake credentials on whatever site.
the account doesnt work.
well. i dont feel like doing that.
thats below my level.
so. i made up all these names.
and. why?
so. again.
i wanted to be cool and original and different.
and all that.
i wanted to make a rune stave. great for me.
i walked randomly in the woods in 2006.
so. tracey is in a stable relationship now.
because i am. with my computer. and thats it.
is disgustingness or subversive disgustingness worse?
if you see something is a splatter movie you might not pick that.
but if it only has 1 second of splatter?
and it has this cute packaging?
that its about the triumph of good over evil?
so. if you spend time with someone you get to know them.
easy. obvious. logical.
oh god. im going in circles. what to do?
get a haircut? why.......?
get clothes? why.......?
get a tatu? well. no. just no.
the more things change.
the more they stay the same.
wow. this is pathetic. what to do.
surf randomly on youtube.
and find this amazing song.
that i watch for 30 secs.
and i eat the creators soul.
and i write something similar?
great for me.
so. haruki murakami.
i was healthy. skinny. fit.
and i was fucking deplorable.
i had a lot of pain.
feet. neck. ears.
im not a healer.
i heal people with my pretend happiness
and pretend wisdom
so does stand up comedians.
so does clowns.
but theres nothing to them.
hmm. so. hiphop. great for me.
are there good demons?
great question.
great answer.
great muzak.
great opinions.
great finding some people you fit in with.
bruce lee didnt write about his way of life.
didnt create a religion.
some emp and a pill. and that was it.
la di da.
im not the human google.
im "well-informed".
im a wikipedia quote.
im a cliche.
im sobby.
im embarassing.
im drunk without drinking.
im synthesized phenylethylamine with metaamphetamine.
great for me.
im happy without being happy
im smart without being smart
im bright without any faults
im darkness without any brightness
im a zoomorphic catbeing with a high pitched voice
if people could only talk in densively complex metaphysical quotations.
great. great. great for me.
i got what i wanted.
then its back to normal.
i woke up. and thought. fuck. im so happy!
im myself. im my normal self.
and someone likes that?
hey.
i can put you in a basement if i want.
how about getting married?
get that fritzl enjoyment?
listen to classical music.
and have a lovely redheaded wife?
what about it?
uhm. i could post this on other sites.
why? i had my last chance.
found a 5 month old reply.
replied. was a motherfucking raving lunitic.
hmm. got annoyed. annoyed back.
doesnt work. i never learn.
like. some shit poem or whatever.
"you broke my spirits". dude.
thats impossible.
the truth still holds.
your soul never changes state.
i used to know things before.
then i moved back to stockholm.
oh. my. god. so. im almost at my parents place.
i mean. i tried to run away. several times.
you could say i killed my dad. lol.
those stalkers are amateurs.
anyway. i take a seat wherever.
actually. i remember some details.
its in the middle of the carriage.
you know. how on old ones, you had
to open a gateway to get further?
anyway. i sit facing the opposite direction
of the train. theres 4 seats.
i sit on the back to the left.
either i sat there first.
or the woman. shes on the forward right.
doesnt matter. im tired. i dont care.
except, i check her out for whatever reason.
she licks her lips. like. literally.
with her tongue. that never happened again.
something else happened instead.
i got the stockholm syndrome.
its not something you should strive for.
on any level.
anyway. i did get afflicted with it in 2006?
2007? but then i figured like. nah. this is
fucked up? except, the neuroleptics had their
way with me. miss mom said. after we had argued.
for years. and years. and years. anyway. shes old.
shes been through worse things than me? it depends.
everything is relative. your parents story reflects
in yours. be careful who you demonize. who you idolize.
if you do it for real? great. if you dont. well. you
dont want their spirit. if theyre something you want to be?
great. if not. dont do it. dont do it.
those stalkers are amateurs.
the brotherhood? suck my cock.
yeah. my "huge almost gigantic" cock.
you dont think ive gone through pain?
hey. where is the original sin?
why do you hate redheads and blondes?
why did you enslave them before?
oh. thats right. theyre the easiest to control.
they believe in peace love happiness.
so. theres some things you dont wanna know.
like. on bitchute. some dude is mad at somethings
thats happening in the world. now. death threats
against the khazars are commonplace there.
so. this dude says "i hope he gets the north american
treatment. they used to filet their enemies.
the adrenaline made them stay alive". uh huh.
them cute genocided indians arent so cute anymore huh?
and. besides. you die when youve done what you should.
i didnt get 8 years for arson. i got 10 years to live.
a free life. which wasnt that. never been that.
hey. it was alright before miss exes.
but i always talk the same. as for the one before her.
my "relationship". my first one. it seems you have to fuck
whoever youre with. its this big thing. "bonding" or whatever.
so. shes running around and around and around her apartment.
well. it was my fault. ya see. i made some joke we should hit town again.
i dress up as a girl she dresses up as a guy.
uhm. bad idea. at least its like this in my world.
they say sweden is so securalized. well. its not.
everyone needs something to believe in.
so. for awhile. everyone was posting pretty food photos.
except, normal people dont have time for that.
it was like. i dunno why they make stats on it.
a normie in sweden spends 7 minutes per day cooking food.
uhm. WHAT? lol. then miss tall dark and handsome comments that.
she says its "pretto". whatever the fuck that means.
(and then. the trend stopped. i dunno if it was her
or me or both of us. it just stopped. like that.)
urban dictionary and slangopedia. woah. so much fun.
as for miss exes. i couldnt learn her language.
and she was surprised i knew hers.
i mean. my dad talked it. knifesouth.
it wasnt a foreign one. just compressed.
and really. you know exactly what theyre saying.
its about death or sex or taunting or lying or control.
people dont search the truth. or they do. they know everything.
and dont tell it. well. one guy did. he was an open illuminati.
like........ you think people are a certain way. then you meet someone.
and everything gets turned upside down. i asked what drugs he liked taking?
no. he didnt take any. he didnt do their rituals. he was in a spiritual war
against satan and witches. he was afraid of no one. but like always.
the relationship ended before it began. its like that. i dunno if its always
been that. i guess it is. im on the highest frequency. i was a choleric.
as they say. if you go through pain. you get smarter. you have to. to survive.
and pain and wisdom is the same thing. except wisdom isnt happiness.
or maybe it is. the more you understand things. the less pain and suffering you have.
because you know theyre an illusion. then you realize happiness is an illusion too.
theres a definition for this. i dont remember it. and i shouldnt.
i shouldnt pretend someone im not. appropriation is real.
as for people acting weak? its a fraud. but he mentioned that.
and he who came before. thanatomania erotomania.
the internet used to be this place for knowledge.
like. the middle of the 90s. you searched and you found.
then the internet turned into tv. mainstream media.
so. theres even ipv6. its a LOT of numbers.
the guy who created mr poetry site uses it.
i was paranoid. you know? like the private investigator
i pretend i am. that im the judge jury and executioner?
so. 4 women have wanted to marry me. it wasnt the other way around.
it didnt happen. and it wasnt supposed to happen.
they show you their ultimate truth.
and they ask you. do you accept me for who i am?
so. i know a lot of cannibals now. great to brag about that huh?
i mean. THAT surely doesnt creep out people? lol.
so. the 5th dimension is interesting. i dont like numbers though.
women dont seem to. but they do. like. i heard some extreme alcoholic.
she wasnt that. just a guy trapped in a womans body.
so shes talking. like "i took 10 beers. and 20 shots. and"
i dunno. i dont know that world. i didnt know then if she meant
shes taken that ever or on one night?
and the most important thing are TAXIS.
and SOMETIMES TAXIS ARENT SAFE EITHER!!!!!!!!
uhm. youre in the middle of nowhere.
youre so drunk you can barely stand or talk or think.
what did you think was supposed to happen?
take control of your life.
if you want to forget.
uh. why?
theres good and bad in everything.
theres no easy solution.
theres no shortcuts.
so. alcohol is praised.
as the universal solution to everything.
i mean. your life sucks.
you drink. its good again.
you work to get drunk to work to get drunk.
youre not free half of the day.
then youre free half of the day.
simple. right?
gypsys are the same.
its like gyspy rose frequency.
cant pretend i know anything about it.
so i was making up that i was married.
and she says "i.... dont know what you are".
ow. gypsys spend half the day begging.
and half the day having fun.
the world is their oyster.
everywhere they lay their hat is their home.
theres a reason the khazars keep
getting kicked out of countries.
its quite confusing. to sort everything out.
so something is a lie. and the truth there is a lie.
and then you get 3 lies and 1 truth.
and only 1 of them is a truth.
and. omg! lol.
so. subspace. fun fun fun.
manifestation is real there.
on such a high level its silly.
magic? you just have no idea.
so a guy says powerwords.
hes like "clone". looks at me.
now theres 2 of me? uh. fun.
great. when i just got in there.
i realized. life is like a maze.
so. i buy some shampoo. he steals it.
uses the whole fucking thing.
i mean. he looked disgusting.
afterwards. better than getting drunk!
literally. he looked 30 years younger.
we only really talked for real once.
and he disappeared then.
he got back eventually.
he says. one word only.
maze.
labyrinth.
theres some hiphop group or whatever.
called that now. i dunno if they manifested
the same time he said it or i thought it.
it doesnt matter. science is just numbers.
theyre an approximation of the ultimate reality.
but if reality is a lie? how does it matter?
and if you measure somethings state.
and it just doesnt make sense?
what the fuck are you gonna do?
OH. LETS MAKE A PARTICLE ACCELERATOR
THATS BIGGER THAN 2 FUCKING COUNTRIES!!!!
yeah. thats a good idea. not.
and. anyway. no point in ranting about things.
when you control everything. or is that a lie?
i am cyberchrist? tracey. you mean a lot.
you have meant a lot. the less you say.
the more you say. its simple.
an atom where he exists could shatter all existance.
i used to find these interesting websites.
in the 90s. i came up with some interesting theory.
and there it was. deep thinking.
beyond artificial intelligence.
so what if we have cameras
which can pinpoint everyone
in an entire city?
god knows all.
anyway. i broke miss exes heart.
not that it mattered.
was so fucking tired of her.
and it all makes sense.
we started talking.
when her mom added 2 of
her accounts on facebook.
it makes sense.
theres 2 of her.
fuck no. theres a lot.
its called the brotherhood for a reason.
theyre all the same. like christians.
like romans. like. it doesnt matter.
so. lesse. frequency vibrancy.
no. im pathetic. i cant even remember 3 words correctly.
frequency i get.
the more you evolve. the frequency increases.
it gets better. mom once said.
no. it gets better and worse.
its at the very core of the universe.
but theres something greater than paradoxes.
mind and matter is the same thing.
theres 3 major religions in the world.
judaism christianity islam.
i mean. it sounds weird.
theres not a lot of jews.
it doesnt make sense.
theres palestinians.
theyre the original.
except. theres almost no palestine left. lol.
then theres the khazars.
its all a big mess really.
half of them are in america
half in isreal.
like. 6 mil. 8 mil.
thats it.
like redheads and blondes.
redheads. 2% of the worlds population.
same for blondes.
theres no white man.
theres no white privilege.
and mind and matter isnt the same.
before the big bang.
the universe was pure energy.
it didnt evolve.
it was perfect.
i dunno what it was like.
maybe thats eden.
theres pure energy beings.
they dont evolve.
its their mission.
to guide people.
to help them.
theres a devil on your right.
and an angel on your left.
or. well.
spirtual guides and guardian angels.
thats it.
except. theres negative and positive polarity.
thats why oxes and scorpios just dont work.
yes, theyre opposites. except. theyre not.
theyre the same. theyre 2 sides of the same coin.
like the wise madman. goes hand in hand.
you can pretend youre something youre not.
that youre a being of pure light.
that you do things for the better.
its impossible.
roots and wings.
no such thing as bad music.
no such thing as discord.
everyone has a fan of their style.
they might not be like others want to.
but how the fuck does that matter?
some people get married.
and take out a divorce the next day.
it could be fraudulent.
or it might not be.
so. the japanese leader was assassinated.
or was he? he was killed so he would be in safety.
did he sell out to the greens? or is it beyond that?
paradoxes within paradoxes.
so. i tried to get high without getting high.
its the theory of adrenochrome.
you steal others energy.
but you dont need to.
energy is infinite.
matter is spirit.
and thats all there is to it.
so. miss paradox.
wrote this huge thing to me.
while high. in my style.
then she emails me the next day.
"did my message get through? lol"
i dont know what
"1000 thoughts
in your head
at the same time"
is like.
hasch and beer was fucking boring.
you cant really ask people anything.
just as simple as. what time is it?
you always get different answers. omg!
you know when people lie. its simple.
you ask someone "you did that"
they always answer the same
"i did not do that".
like theres some universal concept of guilt.
and if you dont manifest it. it doesnt exist.
"im sorry if i exist".
so youd implode if your truth got out?
that you hade made 1 mistake ever?
that youve ever ever lied?
if i am walking with two other men.
each of them will serve as my teacher.
i will pick out the good points of the first.
and imitate them.
and the bad points of the second.
and remove them in myself.
so. it sounds like i get all my information
from a wiki. easy to digest.
compliments turn to insults
turn to compliments turn to insults.
what is there to grasp?
what is the difference from truth and lies?
the greys are awesome.
its simple.
it doesnt matter what you do.
it all has the same end result.
so. there was some chick.
she was untreatable.
a fucking chaos engine.
where is the original sin?
respect your elders.
you dont talk of incest?
oh. fuck if id know. lol.
then. someone took her to a farm.
she found home. you see. animals dont judge you.
because they dont have a society.
and they dont get drunk on the weekend.
they dont put up a show.
they cant. because theyre natural.
theyre apart of nature.
well. everything is relative. lol.
so. scorpios and oxes.
its simple. theyre both negative polarity.
theres no magic.
so. i make another book for miss mom.
super extra plus. it was fucking A3 size.
crazy shit. each book costed like 1000 sek each.
100$. i dunno if thats a lot. i guess it is.
i tell her. she comes over.
she looks at it.
and says.
its a masterpiece.
so? i knew that.
tell me something i dont know.
negative polarity magnets.
they get close.
they might think something is going on.
but they could just be in different worlds.
theyre the same. eventhough theyre not.
so on adjacent signs.
theyre the real deal.
for oxes.
its aries and gemini.
for scorpios.
its libra and sagitarius.
my bestie was an aries.
mom always shit talked them.
for good reason. i dunno.
miss ex. 2 in her family.
they were aries.
well. nothing wrong with them.
my bestie was ok.
i mean. he was everything.
i dont remember us ever really talking.
there was no tension between us.
no magic. no sex. nothing like that.
then i lost him. and something happened.
like. the concept of "friendship" just disappeared.
i killed it. so. buck 65 interview.
he talks about how his wife left him.
and he was talking to his friends afterwards.
all his friends are women.
some other guy. a leo.
he hated the very concept of a woman.
he had a lot of sisters. it makes sense.
everyone is born bisexual.
if someone treats you badly.
from the male gender.
youre attracted to females.
if both treat you bad.
well. tough luck.
youre not attracted to anything.
inheritance and environment.
theres really nothing special about me.
but thats the thing.
so. people these days.
they have no aspirations.
what they dream of?
they dont wanna be somebody.
no gods. no nothing.
they want, to be...... rich.
thats it. its easy.
you play poker or buy a ticket.
and you can get instarich.
your dreams come true.
if youre just lucky.
if you play the system.
if youre just drunk enough.
everything works out perfectly.
so. my dad liked betting on horses.
one of his brothers were worse.
he said that if he won big.
hed just play more.
he never really did anything.
corona killed him.
or. i dunno. i killed him?
no. i really have no idea.
im not clairevoyant.
i cant read peoples minds.
i have theories. thats all.
im not a scientist. im not on that level.
because they dont believe in paradoxes.
omg! status update! exciting!!!!!
so. was some huge fire alarm.
this dude ive never talked to.
never heard him talk.
dont know what hes about.
whats the point of talking?
to "prove" that you are anything?
for example.
higher classes grade school.
i use jeans for the first time.
great. couldnt figure out nor care
how to use a belt. i sit with my geek trio.
im happy for once? weird. warning warning.
not allowed. so. mapei laughs
at my buttcrack showing. fun.
didnt get anything then.
dont get anything now.
and says
"dude you think youre special?"
i laugh and say "i know im not".
after that. maybe? she wasnt mean anymore.
oh. thought things. didnt write them.
i dunno how it matters.
what if everything that happens has already happened?
what if god has a plan for you?
what if that plan is sinister?
what if you are god?
and you write it down without knowing?
.............lol. whatever ^_^
Someone Special
Artist: Hardcore Superstar
Album: It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
Released: 1998
so. maybe it was in 1998? and the song got released the very second she said it?
or because of how i replied?
i realized last year.
that everything my sis has listened to.
has left a trail.
if i listen to it.
i get apart of her world.
its strongest with dua lipa.
the one who introduced me to her.
said i was.
the only one.
she never said she loved me.
well. she did. when she was pregnant.
we have never done it.
which is logical.
there was julia and bella.
except...... i dont think of julia?
its like. some people just disappear.
from your mind. now. most people have
this thing called "discipline".
so. id eaten from the biscquit jar.
or a bag of potatoe chips.
i mean. it was so easy. to be spoiled.
you do things. your parents dont do anything back.
you continue doing it. so i asked why?
"i thought someday youd realize it yourself".
ouch. i sound like an 18 year old?
like. once or twice. in runescape.
id meet some dude.
he was like "yeah i was dumb before".
and i honestly thought they were like retirement age?
or beyond?
nope. they were in their 20s.
"some people are just built differently"
they were smart. disciplined.
they lived the college life.
sex and drugs and rock and roll.
geeks dont get that.
they get xvids and light in a dark room and mp3 piracy.
wow. something to strive for.
like i said.
DONT FUCKING MESS WITH THE TRENCHCOAT MAFIA.
omg. sad smiley.
except. i was ranting about school.
never really done that.
havent been able to think about it.
the pain was just out of this world.
and some dude says i sound like a school shooter?
ok. makes sense. except columbine was an mk ultra psyop.
geeks dont shoot down schools.
theyre not dumb.
they have root access to the ultimate reality.
if they want to bring you judgement.
theyll do that. you wont have a clue though.
like they say.
microsoft invented viruses.
then they make antiviruses.
it all makes sense.
so. kevin mitnick is now free.
hes gotten his repentence.
and besides. mk ultra scientist are smart.
theyre geeks too. like you wouldnt believe.
so. i heard this talk. from high up government official.
about space. it sounded amazing. for the first time.
powerful people know things.
they wont let you know that you know it though.
biden isnt dumb. he just plays it.
so. some dude goes up to him.
and says hell lose his next election.
no one wants to vote for him anymore.
he gets pissed off. hes in complete control
of his body. he says in a calm but clearly
angered voice "97% of all democrats want to vote for me".
now. you could wonder how this could be possible?
if someone can get close to a president.
they could kill him?
its quite confusing.
so JFK wanted to make a silver dollar.
not just the gold standard.
thats why he was offed.
but he was a mason. obviously.
he talked a lot of shit.
so. who is good. who is bad?
what is truth? what are lies?
is shallowness depth?
is depth shallowness?
hmm. brain decay. fun.
i cant tell the difference
between is and are anymore.
it just doesnt work.
so. music is nice.
theres a lot out there.
well produced.
well made.
an average album takes 3 whole year to make.
there lyrics writers theres composers
theres musicians theres audio technicians
theres drum technicians theres the outer image
theres a whole fucking orchestra.
and theres so much of it.
you rant that they buy your dreams and steal your soul.
or that women buy your dreams and steal your soul.
or that. on any level.
theyre projecting.
theyre hiding something.
theyre the unseen.
the puppet masters.
god isnt a woman.
god isnt a man.
god is a thought.
thats all.
but god isnt a thought.
god isnt a thought at all.
god is nothing.
god is nothingness.
at the beginning.
there was nothing.
at the end.
there will be nothing.
everything disappeared.
so they say.
the unseen take something unseen.
and make it ugly.
they take the essense.
but not the soul.
because you cant figure out the soul.
and soul is just matter is energy
and its really nothing and it doesnt really matter.
it was nice to finally meet a taurus.
its over. which is how things work.
at least for me.
sara. miss sis.
i like proper names a lot.
i like words. theyre pretty.
i only know english and swedish.
so cant say that im good at language.
i tried to impress. its what i do.
so this latina says she knows 6 languages.
its one of the first things she says
when we meet. so.
i can see some italian
characterists on her.
so i just try to say as quickly as possible.
italian spanish portugese english swedish
and one indigenous.
she was impressed. or was she?
i cant read minds.
i dont know what people say to other people.
i am desperate. i am lonely.
so. this joga teacher. obvioously i have no chance on her.
her dude is a yoga teacher also. or something.
i mean. i didnt get it.
and i got into a relationship. finally.
long term.
except, id fucked up some other peoples relationships.
as they say. what goes around comes around.
no one can really get to you when youre happy.
it doesnt work like that.
they bide their time.
do the hit at the exact perfect moment.
revenge is a dish best served cold.
is there subversiveness in this? fuck yeah.
things dont happen over time with me.
i am hyperlaxative. i know.
its a laughable word.
the prime psychiatrist in stockholm said that.
i mean. i was mad at him.
then we had this boss.
i was mad. at things.
so i wrote. a lot.
what was wrong with the psychiatric system.
great for me. i ruined her.
except, she didnt exactly look happy to begin with.
like. most latinas just look so sad.
like they have the world on their shoulders.
and their guys. act like they own the world.
well. thats just a reflection of myself.
im sad. i think i own the world.
infinite sadness infinite darkness infinite loneliness.
theres a concept of world parties.
the planeswalkers. they walk around the world.
they learn things. they affect people.
they cant stand around too long.
either the place goes to ashes.
or they do.
so they walk. and walk. and walk.
it only takes 260 days to make 1 course around the equator.
hey. maybe i shouldnt just rant here.
and make photoshops and music about it.
uhm. why? who could ever give a fuck?
so. its original? im impressive?
to who? ive already proven everything.
before grandma died.
she said, in her normal mocking tone.
that i was a better artist than miss mom.
then i annoyed miss mom. a lot. a whole lot.
i mean. im dumb. im a guy. im a dog.
im a loner. girls just wanna have fun?
but if you never have fun?
if youre desensitized?
whatcha gonna do?
you exagerate.
it got scary in runescape.
some people only do 1 of 2 things there.
they make money.
or they kill people.
i mean. its a fucked up world.
you go the maxing experience and levels route.
and you need goldpoints for that.
or you just buy everything.
items xp levels. everything.
easy.
its not geeks. that is. dudes. engineers.
which like computers anymore.
loners.
its normal people.
normal people have jobs.
normal people have a house.
they dont live in their moms basement.
they do things.
they achieve things.
they improve the world.
they get money. legitimately.
they pay their taxes.
theyre boring. theyre shallow.
except. their life has actual meaning.
they work a job they hate.
they get drunk.
on fridays holidays.
they get drunk to celebrate.
they get drunk when they get home.
and watch tv for 5 hours per day
with 40% commercials every 14 mins.
14 mins content 7 mins advertisments.
the tv is their lover.
their world.
their companion.
their. whatever.
i have concentration now.
there used to be a time i was normal.
fit. actually. it was 2 times.
strangely enough. i ignored my parents then.
or my mom. thinking back.
i spent less than a year in university
somewhere else in the country.
and i got skinny.
this doesnt make sense.
i only took a walk for 1 hour per day.
i walked a lot more later.
except. small town. small municipality.
small. landscape. whatever you call it.
there was this huge hospital. yep.
and there were 2 supermarkets.
both were from the same company.
i used to call my dad. a lot.
he once said i had 2 mothers.
he was dumb when he was young.
but thats the point.
you cant be both smart and stupid.
normies arent like that.
theyre stupid then they realize things.
they get discipline. they get.
the countess is so amazing.
i used to write some poems about her.
i cant really find any of them.
dont recall any.
dont think i read any of them on the radio.
i dont get the concept of "forgetfullness".
people do that. they get into a relationship.
they save their hate for last.
as a defence.
and when they break up with their "narcissistic ex".
they project their insecurities towards them.
simple. then they dont mention them anymore.
theyre gone. literally. they turn off that part
of their brain which has memories about them.
uhm........ how can you turn into a better person
then? if all you wanna do is not get lonely?
to get laid? so. a soyboy definition said.
that soyboys are desperate. they seek love
everywhere and they wont find it.
because they dont know what love is.
love is not sex.
so. mister serial killer.
i remember his name now.
it doesnt matter.
so. art. history. myths. legends.
tell stories about the past.
present. future. another world.
they do this. to teach us something.
but its not the ultimate desire
of the creator to improve the world.
its beyond that. they have this burning desire.
passion. some christian dude
said the heart is in the middle of the chest.
he wanted to see a sunday mass on tv.
i hated him then. or everything else.
so i tried to annoy him with some song.
now. hes a rockabilly dude.
hes a knifesouth dude.
hes calm. and kindhearted.
like me? lol. watch out for those! omg.
i figured he was bullied in school.
by both teachers and normies.
well. dunno. could ask him that.
to impress. to get on his level.
so he wont do subversive things.
like call someone he knows.
its quite a lot.
knifesouth is big.
rockabilly culture is bigger.
it was the start of rock n roll.
quite old religion.
like my dad. he knows everyone.
everything.
and like pussys. he plays weak.
its easy. its called drunken boxing.
like biden does.
like bush the second does?
i mean. hes a fucking genius.
they put him on tv recently.
and like. WHY?????????????!?!?!?!?!?!!
so he says theres mean people who want
to ruin this country called...... iraq?????
he smiles. excuses himself.
and says. "i mean. obviously. ukraine".
you could wonder why things happen.
so. mr rockabilly.
you walk past him. or hear him from a distance.
hes talking to a cop. or a friend.
or whatever. you get nothing of what he says.
he talks in normal tone. quite slow.
about normal things.
and you know somethings going on.
and its not funny.
lesson of the day:
dont kill angels.
dont make angels.
kill demons?
then you become a demon.
cant have it any way. sad smiley.
revenge is a dish best served cold.
you set up shop in another country.
you pay protection fees.
theres karmic debt.
you do good things.
it increases.
you do bad things.
it decreases.
i got my down to 10000.
i had made a poem about that.
10000. i made it into a song.
its still up there.
im not saying you should listen to it.
or even acknowledge my existance.
what is appretiation?
have i gotten what i was looking for?
how do you know what youre looking for?
is your horizon a little slanted?
does it go down? or up?
or is it, just....... horizontal?
forever?
how could the sky be the limit?
if we dont know when the universe ends?
vill du byta
so. no places left. for muppets like me.
no. theres one. in my muncipality.
they paved heaven and put up a parkin lot.
or a mosque. no syrian orthodox church.
oh. now its turning weird again. lol ^_^
im fucked up. i finally realized it.
so. the fire alarm. great. everyone together.
like a party. ive been on a dance floor once.
didnt drink any date rape chemical.
i tried to pretend i know anything.
so i sit in lotus style.
with my arms out.
and i do that for awhile.
i close my eyes
AND TOTALLY GET ONE WITH THE EARTH
AND MAKE EVERYTHING GOOD AND FLOAT OUT
INTO THE COSMOS.......... not.
some crazy mexican comes up.
puts his finger through one my clasped hands.
thats it though.
i take a piss. go home.
and nothing happens.
you have to realize something.
about getting drunk.
you cant take the good without the bad.
if you increase your frequency you also decrease it.
god. i sound like such a creep.
you dont. youre a normie.
youre a nothing.
theres nothing special about being an artist.
theyre just stuck up pricks.
vain assholes.
think they "are" something.
theyre hasbeens.
they were something.
now theyre nothing.
nobody cares.
they make one good song.
put it on an album.
sign the contract.
get fame fortune fanny.
and they tour 300 days per year.
and they have all these people
doing everything for them.
they are supposed to make 5 albums in 10 years.
they make 3 in 7. and burn out.
etc. who cares.
i dont know anything.
i havent really talked to musicians ever.
theyre not like you think.
they dont "teach" you how to write.
how to play the guitar.
they start playing their guitar.
the dont say anything.
and you sing something.
thats how music is created.
its not inspiration.
it is creation.
from creation stems destruction.
creation is destruction is creation is destruction is.
theres no point to it.
i got what i wanted? great? now what?
"i dunno. get married?"
is anyone truly happy?
you dont see them sad.
you dont want to see someone sad.
you dont want to be an influencer.
i dont get how they do it.
you get fans. and detractors.
except some of them change sides.
so. was in twitter. bad mistake.
i thought i deserved someone.
to not be alone.
i thought when bella and i got together.
thered be world peace and.
i checked the news.
it was the same ole shit.
i was exstatic before.
its weird.
i have no idea how i acted.
or how anyone could handle me.
which they couldnt.
they thought i was a free pirated
comedy series.
you watch it. you throw it away.
and thats it. well. i am?
i am a product of the american dream.
because sweden was a nightmare.
but everyone is the same.
everywhere is the same.
stockholm doesnt interest me.
it looks the same wherever you go.
concrete. asphalt.
and thats it.
i tried to make a better world.
pretty colours.
so what?
then i tried to find that better world.
i guess it works for some.
but. people have treated me badly.
so. if i take drugs.
i am. as they say. myself.
i dont like being myself.
being a guy.
guys are angry.
guys are disciplined.
guys die for what they love.
they arent supposed to survive.
they arent supposed to proliferate.
guys are trailblazers.
prophets. kings. legends. pioneers.
so i tried all these things.
professions. personalities.
women arent vain. nor shallow.
if you change your looks
you change your world.
its simple.
if you dress like a cow
you become a cow.
the theory of manifestation.
making up words isnt a good idea.
because words already exist.
and since i dont know anything.
talking about something i dont know.
is a really bad idea.
so i got the urge to see american history x.
great. a guy kills some other guys.
you know. an eye for an eye?
he talks shit. for a year.
nobody cares.
hes the king. hes on top of the world.
except. an amateur thinks hes a god.
a professional thinks hes ok.
thinks dont really exist.
there isnt data. its not 0s and 1s.
and its not fixed.
this seems strange.
you write something.
you photo something
photorealistically automatically. a snapshot.
anyone can be an artist!
heres 10 tips how to be creative!
first tip. heres all these rules
on what youre not allowed to do!
create!
uh. no. if you want to manifest your world?
i dunno why?
then you do that.
the only rules are. there are no rules.
you cant cheat the system.
and sometimes you can only use a computer
30 mins a day. uhm. not a lot of fun.
is it possible to make the world better?
i....... dont think so.
does that make me special?
because im a nihilist?
bad things happen then good things turn out of them.
why not just be a ranting fool and youll improve things?
doesnt matter what you do. be as stupid as possible.
it all turns out good in the end!!!!!!!!!
so. the fire alarm.
it was for real this time.
im not unhappy anymore.
i am not cyberchrist.
im not an artist.
im just a ranting fool.
the last man on earth.
but i dont live on earth.
i dont live anywhere.
i dont even live nowhere.
the space inbetween.
so. i used to exhagerate.
sometimes i manage that.
i use things. i use people.
to get what i want.
but i never get it.
i never get it.
i never get it.
so. i started writing this.
after awhile i feel like im such a fucking genious.
that doesnt work on stage.
youre good. make an impression.
or you get bood off stage.
so. theres 2 paralel stories about microsoft and apple.
it was 3 geeks in some of their parents garage.
bill gates was poor. he was a loser.
geek. no one wanted him.
steve jobs had it all. plain boring shallow jock.
then there was some guy called steve wozniak.
have no idea what he had to do with it.
the birth of the modern personal computer.
so. apple has this image of.
they have an image. thats it.
nobody gave a fuck.
they paid people to make it seem
like their computers were good for anything?
nope. they paid adobe to slow down the pc
version of photoshop.
apple products are 2x expensive and 2x worse.
meaning. 4x expensive. or 4x worse.
then. hallelujah. end of the 90s.
hypercommercialism was invented.
girls and grandparents liked computers.
ive seen this happen.
to even play a fucking computer game.
you needed engineering talent.
640kb should be enough for anyone?
hey, what about 70kbaud too?
ms dos. command prompt.
and linux is still stuck in the 80s?
lol. pathetic.
DO. NOT. FUCK. WTIH. THE. TRENCHCOAT. MAFIA.
so. tried to be modern.
it had escaped me.
i wanted a neat haircut.
to stand out. whatever.
most dont dare to get it.
i saw it in.. 2007?
one some guy.
you shave the left right and back.
the rest is as long as possible.
it has many names.
punk. cyberpunk. crustpunk.
metalpunkcrossover.
malefemale.
i saw it in the 90s.
some neat finnish dude.
wow. now ive written too long.
and that christian dudes words.
"do you get all your information
from wikipedia"?
so. i wrote these poems.
for someone i wrote a lot.
great for me.
i used all these great big words
that i have no idea what they mean.
i strung them together.
and that was it.
i get why guys have a distaste for me.
its logical.
they meet my type all the time.
theyre raving drunk lunatics.
they think they own the world.
and what they say is so special.
and if they just annoy enough people.
someone will actually believe the lie?
except. it wont last.
because theres nothing to them.
they cant achieve anything.
they dont change anything.
no one cares what theyre really about.
because there isnt any.
i dont get things.
in middle upper gradeschool.
we got an assignement to write about our best friend.
now. im real real dumb.
so i thought best friend.
meant a friend. who was best. at being a friend.
you know. rock star? original? cool? interesting?
impressive? has lots of stuff? says lots of deep things?
looks good? has lots of friends?
well. ive become him.
cant really blame him.
but maybe it was my sisters dream.
what is the original sin?
i cant manifest.
i cant make something its not.
i cant have emotions.
because guys arent supposed to have them.
i cant say anything.
because guys dont do that.
i cant use anything but boring colours.
because guys are supposed to be camoflougad.
i cant stand out.
because whoever stands out gets removed.
i cant say deep shit.
because thats what you get when youre drunk.
and you learn things.
you dont say that youre smart.
you are smart. thats it.
if you are something. do it.
i cant not escape what ive done.
is it great that ive written this?
that i wrote a lot shit?
everyone knows this.
everyone knows this.
artists bring it up into the open.
and ruin it. ruin its soul.
and theres no salvation.
i cant have a fucking job.
because i ruined my body
playing stupid fucking computer games.
so they can feel special
well. guess what? everyone is special.
thats what makes them special.
that they are themselves.
anyway. gangsters dont punish you.
they teach you things.
they have patience.
oh god.
they dont talk about disgusting things.
like death and sex.
i do that now.
and. im just pathetic.
no one could handle me before.
and now im fucking atrocious.
they dont talk about amazing or beautiful things.
like love or friendship.
because once the do. it goes away.
how does it matter?
everyone knows this.
so. i thought nobody cared about my art.
and besides. normies kept calling me
"vegetarian" all the time.
i was fucking tired of it.
so i make a straight edge tatu.
great for me.
then because of that.
i met my ex.
great for me?
im the same as before now.
nothing has changed.
LIFE IS LIKE THIS GREAT STORY
LIFE IS LIKE A COMPUTER GAME
yeah. so?
everyone knows this?
pirates had tatus before.
i like beauty. but i dont.
im a guy. im shallow.
like a moth to flame.
im an ox. i see red.
and i run towards it.
thats it.
im not the puppet master.
i destroy the world.
but its just my world.
this place ive imagined.
well. the world is over.
its contracting.
into a big bang.
i wont rebirth it with bella.
and make this great new world.
which will have its first word
TOMBEL.
the word was tombel
and tombel was the word.
no?
that sounds fucking stupid.
should i drink beer at work?
well. being drunk isnt allowed.
you can clean your hands
with rubbing liquor though.
45-96%. you get clean.
you get holy.
you get fresh.
youre yourself again.
an angel of pure light.
except.
angels and demons are the same thing.
it doesnt matter.
hey. maybe i should do something else.
lesse. watch music videos.
and........ thats it.
youre not supposed to be alone.
but if the people that are around you.
say youre not like them?
and then you dont like yourself.
and the few people that cared about you.
well. it wont work.
youll drive them away.
and thats all youll have from that point forwards.
loneliness. because killing someone is no problem.
you can get in trouble though.
so you crush their soul.
not much is needed.
youre subversive.
you say something now and then.
just a word here and there.
when theyre not protected.
no.
a single wolf doesnt attack a flock of sheep.
its the other way around.
a flock of wolves attack one sheep.
hey. its all in the bible.
the concept of "stoning".
thats why "being stoned"
is so confusing to me.
uhm. why would you wish that upon yourself?
or anyone else for that matter.
but that is the brotherhood.
you stand out.
youre in trouble.
the brotherhood has rules.
and regulations.
except, obviously, they dont tell you that.
its the whole concept of civilization.
unwritten rules.
you could read the whole DSM or the dead sea scrolls
or your countries all laws or learn about every single
physical illness.
and what good will that do you?
why does this matter? any of it?
he who speaks does not know
he who knows does not speak
so. i was on scarys shuggashack.
when i got tired of impressing.
or computergames. or wanking.
i tried slashdot. uhm. great idea?
no matter what i said.
i got downmodded.
and i was lonely.
so i said the allowed 10 posts in a day.
and im quite quickly at -2 moderation.
my behaviour turns more annoyed and aggressive.
the account is still up.
i used this great unhackable password before.
hello123. woah. no one could brute force that.
geeks dont make themselves known.
cracking crews. blackhats. computer virus makers.
another 6 months ill be unknown.
malware bla bla bla.
i dont know anything about that world.
i took me 5 years to learn to code
a fucking image or link.
thats fucking pathetic.
so. just like everything else.
the psychiatric system works in shame application.
i dont know how anyone escapes it. or do they? or dont?
so. if i say anything at all on youtube.
it just gets deleted.
it doesnt matter what it is.
if i register with fake credentials on whatever site.
the account doesnt work.
well. i dont feel like doing that.
thats below my level.
so. i made up all these names.
and. why?
so. again.
i wanted to be cool and original and different.
and all that.
i wanted to make a rune stave. great for me.
i walked randomly in the woods in 2006.
so. tracey is in a stable relationship now.
because i am. with my computer. and thats it.
is disgustingness or subversive disgustingness worse?
if you see something is a splatter movie you might not pick that.
but if it only has 1 second of splatter?
and it has this cute packaging?
that its about the triumph of good over evil?
so. if you spend time with someone you get to know them.
easy. obvious. logical.
oh god. im going in circles. what to do?
get a haircut? why.......?
get clothes? why.......?
get a tatu? well. no. just no.
the more things change.
the more they stay the same.
wow. this is pathetic. what to do.
surf randomly on youtube.
and find this amazing song.
that i watch for 30 secs.
and i eat the creators soul.
and i write something similar?
great for me.
so. haruki murakami.
i was healthy. skinny. fit.
and i was fucking deplorable.
i had a lot of pain.
feet. neck. ears.
im not a healer.
i heal people with my pretend happiness
and pretend wisdom
so does stand up comedians.
so does clowns.
but theres nothing to them.
hmm. so. hiphop. great for me.
are there good demons?
great question.
great answer.
great muzak.
great opinions.
great finding some people you fit in with.
bruce lee didnt write about his way of life.
didnt create a religion.
some emp and a pill. and that was it.
la di da.
im not the human google.
im "well-informed".
im a wikipedia quote.
im a cliche.
im sobby.
im embarassing.
im drunk without drinking.
im synthesized phenylethylamine with metaamphetamine.
great for me.
im happy without being happy
im smart without being smart
im bright without any faults
im darkness without any brightness
im a zoomorphic catbeing with a high pitched voice
if people could only talk in densively complex metaphysical quotations.
great. great. great for me.
i got what i wanted.
then its back to normal.
i woke up. and thought. fuck. im so happy!
im myself. im my normal self.
and someone likes that?
hey.
i can put you in a basement if i want.
how about getting married?
get that fritzl enjoyment?
listen to classical music.
and have a lovely redheaded wife?
what about it?
uhm. i could post this on other sites.
why? i had my last chance.
found a 5 month old reply.
replied. was a motherfucking raving lunitic.
hmm. got annoyed. annoyed back.
doesnt work. i never learn.