(no subject)

[vaaa]

so the bitterfitta herself was here. you know who. i hadnt had despair, and she didnt have a cold. so thats quite odd.

anyway, as i figured, she ruined my only good day in ages.

to "restore" me.

and she acted like a whore of course.

and fucking black clothes on women, whats the fucking point?

you dont see anything. and fat ugly fucks think they look good in it?

like lipgloss? wtf? no one notices any fucking difference and you fucking ruin your body with it.

"i wont come for a long time"

anyway. just a lie. she brought chocolate. it tasted like shit.

zero empathy ever.

if it goes over a certain threshold

shell "save me"

and shaitan will say

"thats a good girl"

and if everyone fucking everywhere uses fucking clothes

how can you stand out? how can anyone be attracted to you?

see you among the other ugly as fuck clones?

so she said something about someone looking like an anorexia case.

so i asked how much she weighted when she was 17

"i dont remember"

rrright.

as for seeing through lies. no fucking point.

at the previous housing i also told the staff she wasnt welcome.

well she whored herself to one

and wouldnt you know

"we cant stop her from coming here"

anyway, you have chris now and thats amazing

ill never get anything like that

anyway

african women never ever shower

they use vaseline and talcum powder

and if you drink a lot

im talking 100s of cubic litres of alcohol

your lymph system dies completely

then you take radiactive iodine to seal the deal

anyway you noticed tracey that the other second

i was calm and wise as hell

this could not be tolerated

anyway

shell only accept me

as her artwhoreslave and entertainer

she never ever listens to my advice

like once shed been drinking onts

of rum and coke

ruined her stomache

so what does she do?

whines for weeks

THERES A GRAIN OF RICE STUCK IN MY THROAT

so i give her lots of advice

like stop with alcohol and coffee

she just ignores everything

finally she sees a doctor

the response?

"cut back on coffee"

she never said i was right or anything

but like any reptile

she loves me talking shit about her

more loosh

anyway

i feel sad for those people

that have never ever gone through a tragedy

where they have to fight to survive

the right wing actually made it better for me

i was gonna be forced to get a job already

in 2012? id rather die

since no one gave a fuck about my art

before suicide

i figured i should make something lasting

so i made the darkhalo fansite

was nice

then when i met bella i fucking deleted the whole thing

wow, great

as for roy orbison

he died in his moms arms

awww that complete fucking loser

some other trash guy

remember hearing him screaming at his mom

on the bus

he had fucking disgusting teeth

obviously never gotten laid

or felt love

or had to fight to survive

and fountain house didnt help

but when i started at myrorna

i got anxiety after 5 mins

next time 15 mins

and then the niiice psychiatric

reduced my pills over and over

awww, how nice, how emphatic of him

right. who gives a fuck.

right. i wrote the exact same thing before.

constant deja vu.

as for my few days of joy

since i just met psychiatric and somatic staff

...nothing good came out of it

they just smiled at me and said nothing

and laughed at the right word

which means something

really nasty in slang

as for the woman formerly known as wonderwoman

shes got shit for brains

she said the sweetest one here is the antichrist

nothing could be further from the truth

shes got power over her, thats it

and the most beautiful?

that michelin cunt who hasnt exercised a single day in her life

and smells like fart all over the place or pink fucking slime

wow

get your priorities straight, cunt

so the object now is to never delete anything

highest key

and obviously not get banned

and get things deleted

all my old comments on devart are still there

they cleared the art, ok

but my journals were fucking EPIC

added bits and pieces to em allll the time

gone gone gone

so, yes, in constant deja vu

and 10k journal entries?

reliving every day when they were written?

oh. my. god.

most of them i wrote at my parents place

so am i supposed to have the same despair there

where i eventually wrote my fucking will?

anyway, im dead

i died

i am in limbo

so yes the withdrawal symptoms

from stopping with neuroleptics

is worse than fentanyl

so i released all my vampire entities

this is the reward

im free from karma

free from desire

tracey used to write "repost"

she doesnt do that anymore

shes not congizent

because shes not there

shes not a bot either

anyway

groundhog day isnt like they say it is

you dont have to perfect whatever

to meet your dream princess

and crossposting

hate it

and i guess i should mirror everything on mister poetry site

so was gonna ask lady K miss economy fred lane darkhalo

to fix me my deep data profile

it would be so easy

freed from desire

and anyway

no matter how fucked up things i write

i shouldnt delete em

then the same thing happens again

oh, and miss demokratipiloterna

they had amazing saturday music nights

theres so much of life ive missed

sara loves concerts

and books

and movies

except when i was at her place

we watched some neat movie

shed found

... her only emotion in watching it

was laughing at the appropriate moments

thats it

anyway, its more than 10k bloglings

and days that need to be remade

and relived

there were shit ton of comments too

oh my.

anyway

i transcended

im in heaven

almost

i havent heard about anyone

talking about it being like this

and its just a punishment

a curse

and as for miss fattest fuck on earth

right

forgot

awesome

anyway

it was nice in kristianstad

met no one so had more time for art

but all those book projects are gone

theyre all in my deep data profile